This is the last will and testament of Celia Farrow. May God have mercy upon my soul.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to die.

Mum. Julia Emily Farrow. My mother. I love you. I'm sorry I left you. I'm sorry I won't be there to watch Eastenders with you and hold on to you during the sad moments. I'm sorry you won't have a shopping partner any more to tell you when your earrings don't match. You're always so forgetful. I love you. I'm leaving you my Gucci watch, the one we chose together last October. I'm also leaving you the sum of £100 to get it mended and engraved with my name so you'll never forget me. But I'm not leaving you. Not really. I'll still be with you. In your heart.

Dad. Hugo James Trent Farrow. My father. I love you, too. But no matter where I'm going next, heaven or hell, reincarnation or nowhere at all, I'll always be your little girl, daddy, I promise. Please have my necklace, the gold locket that I always wear. I suppose you're taking it back really, because you gave it to me, do you remember? Five years ago, for my 16th birthday. I remember you laughing as I closed the clasp round my neck, and I've never taken it off since. You'll have to take it off my body. Sorry about that.

Sam. Samuel Martin Hugo Farrow. My brother. You're an idiot sometimes, but I really do love you. I'm sorry I haven't had time to show you that I love you. I hope you forgive me. I would have left you something expensive, something that you could have kept in a glass case and shown off to your friends, but I know you wouldn't want that. You'd want something you could use. So I'm leaving you my CD collection, including the one signed by Bob Dylan. I never really liked it, and I'm sure you can make better use of it than I can.

Cathy. Catherine Louise Grant. My best friend and almost-sister. I'll always remember the summer we spent together after our exams, when I don't think we were ever separated. I've missed you since going off to uni, but I'm glad we could stay in touch. There's a picture of us in a gold wire frame on my desk. We took it last Christmas, do you remember? We signed it like we were celebrities. I want you to have it.

And all the rest of my friends. School friends, neighbours, friends from uni. I love you all. You've always stood by me when I needed help, laughed with me, cried with me. I can't thank you enough for everything you've done. I wish I had lived long enough to return the favours.

I request that any remaining items of clothing or money that remain after these bequeaths be given to charity to support those who still live. Don't cry for me. I'll wait for you on the other side. When you grieve, grieve for yourselves. It's harder to live than to die. Grieve because you must live on without me, because you loved me and because I won't be there to share in your lives. I grieve that I won't be there to see you all. But wherever I'm going, it'll be easier than this life. And I'll wait for you. I promise.

I don't imagine this will and testament will be legal, and, as I don't have time to make everything official, I suppose everything will revert to you, Mum and Dad. I hope - I know - you will respect my wishes, because I love you.

Signed this 11th day of March, 2012.

Celia Farrow

PS

Having finally determined the true character of my so-called friend Tyler Jackson White, I hereby leave the small, loaded pistol that is now in your hands, trained on me. I imagine they'll find it next to my body, so I suppose it will be mine to bequeath. I also leave you enough money to buy one cartridge for the aforementioned gun, with which to shoot yourself.