The next morning I woke before Nell. I then used a bit of wizardry to move the farmer's outhouse to the new pit. No use in contaminating the well after I had purified it last night but then I recast the purification spell because I had a sneaking suspicion that the farmer or one of his family members may have used it last night.

When I got back to the barn Nell was awake, getting dressed and repacking her blankets in her pack. She must have known I was watching her pull her leather shorts up her legs. She stood with her back to me, bent over and pulled the shorts slowly up her legs and then wiggled her ass as the shorts went over her hips.

Nell watched me as I cast a teeth cleaning spell on my mouth and then got a mint leaf from my pack and started chewing on it. "What was that you just did to your mouth Goodgulf?" She looked puzzled.

"I was just cleaning my teeth, it makes them last longer and now I am chewing some mint to make my breath fresh. Would you like me to clean your teeth? It just takes a moment." I hoped she would let me, her smile was pretty and I would really like her to keep it for as long as possible.

"Does it hurt?"

"It may make you a little uncomfortable for a while if you have never had your teeth cleaned. But after the second or third time it will feel good and you will miss it if you don't get it done. Plus your teeth will last longer so you will be able to eat better." My parents were both into using wizardry to make the health of people better. I learned this spell fairly early in life.

"What do I need to do?"

"Just sit and open your mouth so I can see inside of it and cast the spell. It only takes a few moments and it is done." When I looked into her mouth I did a quick count and saw she had all 32 teeth. I would have to ask her if she had suffered any head aches since she got her wisdom teeth. At least the wisdom teeth had come in straight and she did seem to have an extra large jaw so maybe they fit without pain. When I was done I gave her a mint leaf to chew.

Before we started hiking the farmer's wife insisted on feeding us breakfast. She served us fried eggs, bread with butter and some bacon. Nell gave me her bacon but she had three eggs to my two and ate four pices of bread.

When we left Nell asked my why I asked her permission to clean her teeth. I explained how it is unethical of me to cast spells on another person without the permission of that person and the only way I can cast a spell on another person without permission was in self defense.

"Nell, I need to head back to Chicken Butt Flats. I wasn't expecting this to be so involved but after being attacked by those goblins I want to have a full store of spell casting components, especially if I have to fight any Amazons."

"Having all the things you need is a good idea but you won't have to fight any of the Amazons. This crown thing is a game that the Ogres and Amazons have been playing for a long time. Each side steals it from the other and holds it as long as possible. The Amazons think they have the Ogres at a disadvantage because to get the crown now you must solve three riddles." That was really helpful.

-Funny she knows and the Ogre King didn't tell you this. I smell a rat.-

-Shut up, Swayvill, I will take any help I can get for the moment, even if she is a spy.-

"Do you know what the three riddles are, Nell?"

"Some of them but I don't know the answers to them. The first is you must cross a bridge that has a troll living underneath it without fighting or being eaten. The second is you must figure out how to open a magically locked door and the third has something to do with escaping some manacles."

"This would explain why the Ogre King hired me. I wish he would have told me this himself. I am glad to get a few hints."

Nell looked thoughtful for a moment,"It probably didn't occur to him that this information would be helpful to you. He is an ogre after all. By the way, I wanted to ask you why you just injured the goblins and didn't kill them. That would have been easier and they couldn't rob anybody later."

"I could tell by the way they were holding their swords that they had no idea how to use them. They had their fingers completely wrapped around the hilts instead of holding them with their finger tips. They were also rather young so they might have been forced into robbing by the other six goblins that were hiding. I don't like killing for no good reason. It wouldn't have been a problem for me if the other six had taken my pack. It is spelled so it would come back to me unopened."

"Really? I would like to see that spell in action, Goodgulf."

"Ok then." I handed her my pack. "Take my pack and walk away. Then just leave the pack where ever you feel and walk back to me."

Nell did as instructed. "So when will the magic happen and you pack reappear?"

"It isn't magic. Mages use magic. I am a wizard and use wizardry. Look in your left hand."

She looked and saw she was carrying the pack in her left hand. "How did that get there? I swear I set it down."

I laughed. "The best spells are the ones that people don't notice."

"Can you cast that spell so my possessions will return to me Goodgulf?"

"I can but it will only last a few months until it unravels, it does take some periodic maintainance to keep working." I didn't tell her that I usually charge about 5 silver coins to cast the spell. I really liked her.

I came upon an old oak stump and used it as a table to weave the spell upon Nell's backpack, sword, shield and axe. It didn't take very long to complete. 

We continued on for a while until close to noon. We were close to my cabin when Nell just blurted out, "Damn, I am so hungry I could eat the asshole of a skunk."

"That does sound good. I haven't had asshole of skunk since my parents kicked me out of their house. My mom could fry up a mean asshole of skunk, in fact, I think that was one of her specialties."

Nell just looked at me for a moment. "Are you serious? Did you actually eat the asshole of a skunk?"

"Just on holidays and special occasions. It was rather difficult to catch enough skunks to make a good meal."

"I was joking." Nell had a look of disbelief on her face.

I smiled. "So was I." And with that she started laughing.

We got into my cabin and I replenished my spell casting components and decided that we should have a good meal. My cabin is built into the side of a hill so it stays cool in the summer and warm in the winter. It is basically one large room with a ten foot ceiling and a loft for sleeping at the underground part of the cabin. There is a fireplace for heat and cooking. Nell was able to walk around standing up straight. I do have a small root cellar built into the hill where I can keep food stored. I have a few spells there to keep some food fresh.

"Nell, I noticed that you didn't eat the bacon that we were offered this morning. Why?"

"I prefer not to eat meat, I don't like to kill animals either. I will eat meat if it is the only thing available but I would rather have vegetables, fruits and grains if I can find them."

I nodded because I had suspected as much. It would be nice if I didn't have to have any animals slaughtered but sometimes finding and keeping fruits and vegetables good was difficult. I made a root vegetable stew for us and served Nell using the largest bowl and spoon I had.

"Mmmmm, onions, carrots, parsnips and radishes. How did you get it to taste so good Goodgulf?"

"I added some salt with herbs and spices. I keep a large quantity of those things for spells. Any wizard or witch that is halfway competent usually cooks pretty well. I have something special for you for dessert." I went to the root cellar and pulled out one of my most precious treasures. I handed it to her when she was done with her stew.

She looked at the small egg shape wrapped in gold foil. "What is it?"

"Unwrap the foil and smell it."

She did as instructed. "It smells good. Now what?" She was looking at the dark brown egg in her hand.

"Put it in your mouth and taste it."

She put it in her mouth and chewed for a moment. "Oh my! That is so good. What kind of bird laid that egg?"

"No bird laid that egg, it is called chocolate and it is very rare, worth it's weight in rubies."

Nell finished the chocolate and smiled at me. "It is making me feel good too. Is it magic?"

"No, it just makes you feel better. "

She was sitting on a stool because neither of the two chairs I had were large enough for her. "Did you give me the chocolate because you knew it would make me want you like it did last night?"

"If you want me, it isn't because of the chocolate, that would be unethical for me to do that to you. If you want me it is because you want me, not that I wouldn't be happy to oblige you."

I walked over to her and we started kissing. Her head was a bit below mine as she sat there. She put her arms around my shoulders as I held her around her waist and we kissed deeply. I could taste a bit of residual chocolate on her breath.

As we kissed I started pulling her leather halter over her head.

We decided to stay at my cabin the rest of the day and the entire night. Nell had never slept on a goose down mattress and she decided that she liked it. She slept on her back and I slept next to her on my stomach with my right arm over her holding her close to me.

The next morning Nell and I started hiking to the south west in the direction of the Amazon village. We were having fun talking and playing. We made good progress for the next day and we finally made it to the first of the riddles.

Nell stopped me about one hundred yards from a bridge going over a deep slow moving river. "This is the first riddle, Goodgulf. You must get across the bridge without fighting the troll or getting eaten by him."

"So I have to go alone?" I was thinking about how to do this. "Can you follow after me?"

"Yes I can," she answered but she looked nervous as she said it.

"Can you get past the troll without any trouble?"

"Of course I can, Goodgulf. What kind of Amazon would I be if I couldn't kick the crap out of a single troll?"

"I want you to stay here until I get over the bridge. I will talk to the troll and when you see me point to you I want you to give him a coy look. Once I am over the bridge I want you to cross to me."

I walked to the bridge and started crossing. When I was halfway over the bridge the troll jumped in front of me and screamed "TROLL TOLL!"

"And what do you ask for the crossing of such a fine bridge, my good sir?" It always confuses the trolls when you are polite to them.

He did look confused for a moment but then got his answer together in his mind. "I get to eat you!"

"You don't want to eat me, I am all skin and bone. But if you wait, do you see that pretty woman over there?" And I pointed to Nell, and she did her coy look. She did that really shy look were she turned a bit, kind of pointed her right knee inward and even twisted her hair around her finger while looking downward and then towards me. I never saw her look sexier. "She is nice and bouncy and juicy. If you eat me then you will spoil your appetite for her." If Nell was anything but an Amazon, I wouldn't have done this. As it was, I still hated myself for doing it.

The troll just looked at her and almost drooled. "Ok skinny man, you can go."

I hurried across the bridge and waited. I watched Nell approach the bridge and when the troll jumped at her, she just did a quick whirl to her left while grabbing the troll's right arm, pulled and flung him over her right hip and into the river. By the time Nell reached me I saw the troll swim to the other side of the river, climb onto the bank, shake his fist at me and then give me the finger. I was a little surprised and a bit disappointed that he didn't drop his shorts and moon me.

Nell saw the troll's actions. "What was all that about?"

"He let me go because I let him know a better meal was on its way but I guess his eyes were larger than his stomach."

"Goodgulf, did you offer me to the troll?" She looked incredulous.

"I didn't offer you to him. I just let him know you were going to cross and don't you think you would make a better meal than me?"

"Of course I would make a better meal but that isn't the point!"

"Then maybe you had better explain the point to me because I don't see it." Yes, I was playing stupid but it was to get Nell to verbalize her anger.

"Why didn't you tell me what you planned?" She was almost livid.

"Because you would have gone all Amazon warrior goddess like you are now and when I pointed to you, he wouldn't have thought you an easy target." I felt like such a heel. "Nell, I am sorry and I will never do anything like that again without telling you my plan first."

"If there is a next time. Don't talk to me, I am too angry."

We followed the path in silence. I felt horrible.

-Good job there, Goodgulf. Let her walk into a trap to save your own scrawny neck. What a gentleman.-

-Shut up, Swayvill, I feel rotten enough without your rubbing my nose in it. I just couldn't think of any other way.-

-Did you really put all you could into your effort?-

-I don't know but I will never do anything like that again.-

Just then we arrived at a thorny hedge that blocked the path. There was a door in the hedge and a sign next to the door. "This is as far as I can go with you, Goodgulf. Through that hedge is Amazon territory and I am in exile and not really welcome there."

The sign had writing that said,"The door will only open when you address the door by name. What is the door's name."

There was no visible latch or even any hinges visible. I stood there and thought about what the name of the door could be.

Just then there came a horrible roar from the forest behind us. I looked at Nell and she had her battle axe in hand, she wasn't even bothering with the shield. "Goodgulf, get that door open, that sounded like some sort of saber beaked penguin and I don't think I can hold it off for long."

Just then I saw the answer. If you want to hide something, hide it in plain sight.

So I spoke. "What." And the door opened.

Nell and I stepped through. I caught a glimpse of the penguin. It was about fifteen feet tall and walked on two legs. Imagine a T. Rex wearing a tuxedo and with flippers instead of short stubby arms and it had a beak.

It roared one more time as the door closed.

Nell and I turned and faced about two dozen Amazon warriors with bows and arrows pointing straight at our hearts.

In Part 3 I find out the truth about the relationship between the Amazons and the Ogres.