“Mommy,” his small voice was shaky as he stood in the doorway of his mother’s room.
As she did most nights, Simone had fallen asleep sitting up with her back against the wall, surrounded by a sea of open text books and study notes. She heard the call but it was lost in the midst of a dream and the beautiful cries of violins. The dress she wore swayed as she danced.
The tall, dark haired gentleman that wooed her lowered his head to whisper in her ear, “Mommy.”
She woke up with a start, causing the open book in her lap to slip and close shut. “Shit,” she said. It had taken forever to find the passage she needed and now she would have to start her search again. Immediately she regretted the slip of tongue when she saw her five year old son standing there in his flannel pajamas.
“You owe me a quarter,” he said as a matter-of-fact.
“I thought we changed it to dimes,” Simone grinned, trying to get across the surface of her bed, which actually was just one mattress on the floor, without destroying her complex system of order.
It beat sleeping on the second hand couch in the living room, which she had done for months.
“I never agreed to that.” He used one of her frequent phrases.
“Oh,” Simone laughed as she struggled to pick him up and then positioned him on her hip. He was little for his age. “You are not allowed to use my own words on me, little man.”
“Than whose words am I going to use?” he reasoned.
“You will have to find your own like everyone else.”
He thought about it for a moment.
“Why are you up?” Simone asked, letting the fingers of her other hand tousle his brownish blond curls as she carried him toward his bedroom.
“My head won’t go to sleep,” he returned, wrinkling his brow a bit.
“Your head isn’t hurting is it?” She automatically laid the back of her hand against his forehead and let out a long breath of relief. He did not have a fever.
With finals and one research paper still not written, having her son get sick would be disastrous.
“No, I just keep thinking about stuff,” he said.
Her son, Kenneth (whom she called KJ), was way too serious for a little kid. But then, he had been through a lot. Truth was, they both had been through too much. Most of it had been beyond her control. The rest of it had been an effort to gain control. Regardless, he was strong and seemed to be emerging from their ordeal well. His marks in school were good and he was starting to mix well with the other children. She had been so worried that he would continue to separate himself.
She pulled back his covers, placed her son in his small bed and laid beside him. “What kind of stuff?”
“Christmas stuff.”
The boy watched his mother carefully, trying to read her expression with only the help of a nearby night light.
“Uhm…well…What stuff about Christmas?”
“I wanna’Christmas.”
“Do you,” Simone tried not to sound surprised.
He had never mentioned Christmas before. And, she, the daughter of devout Jehovah’s Witnesses, had never celebrated Christmas. As a matter of fact, other than looking forward to a break from school, Simone had not given it a second thought. But, she remembered being in school when she was just a little older than him and hating Christmas time. Not the holiday itself, but the way it seemed like she was missing out on so much. Then afterwards, everyone would have new bikes or just so many toys in general. Her mother and father rarely bought her new things and specifically did not around this time of year.
“Well,” she said, letting out a deep breath, “what exactly do you want?”
“I want a tree,” he began, “with lights. And, maybe some presents.”
“You know that there is no such thing and Santa Clause.”
He shook his head yes.
“Jesus wasn’t born during the winter time.”
He shook his head.
I give you presents all the time because I don’t need a special time to let you know I love you.”
He shook his head again.
There were other reasons why Christmas should not be celebrated, or at least that was what she had believed for most of her life. It hardly seemed of consequence now since she had not attended a religious meeting since she had left Kenny Sr. Her parents refused to speak to her. Pretty much, everyone she had once associated with had separated themselves from her, even people she had grown up with and had known all her life. She was not bitter about it. She understood why. She had stepped away from something they believed to be the main purpose of life. She was now on the other side of the fence. Simone accepted that fact. She had no intentions of every going back.
“Okay,” she decided. “We will get a tree, we will get some presents and you’ll have a Christmas.”
Just like that, she had gone against all she knew.
Simone held on to KJ as he fell off to sleep. She had no idea how she was going to afford new toys for him. He used to have a lot. Things had changed though. Now she was the soul bread winner, working a part time office job and going to school full time. Things had been tighter than just tight since she had left her husband. He had made it clear that if she did not want him, she would get nothing from him. He had stayed true to his word, as Simone knew he would. She had seen just how evil and spiteful he could get. That is why she had chosen to leave. He had no intentions of changing, regardless of his religion.
When she had finally decided that she could not take anymore, Simone was in a hospital bed. There were representatives from her faith in her room, telling her how they would handle the situation for her. Inside she had laughed. What was ironic was that they were supposed to have been looking out for her all along. She had believed their counsel and stayed. She had done everything they had advised. All they had seemed to do was support her husband and protect their organization’s reputation. She had started to get angry just thinking about it. She had wanted to scream. For the first time in her life, she wanted her voice to be heard more than anything. She had been the submissive, dutiful daughter and wife for far too long. A whole new set of words came to mind, words that seemed liberating. But, her jaw was fractured and she could not even open her mouth to say “kiss my ass”.
When she walked into the shelter for abused women, her jaw was still sore and her face swollen. So, speaking was a bit challenging. Her eye looked a whole lot better and she could actually see out of it, even though the part that should have been white was still bloody red. However, she felt blessed that the cast on her left arm was not on her right and her bruised rib did not ache every time her chest filled with air. Too, she had her son. That was something her husband did not protest. He felt that it would make things more challenging for her. He would not even hand over KJ’s or her clothes. She had nothing but the torn night gown she came to the hospital in. She barely remembered sneaking out of the house and practically passing out at her neighbor’s back door. With a little help from social services, the shelter, the Salvation Army and a friend of one of the volunteers at the shelter, Simone had a job and a small two bedroom apartment. She started school soon after because she realized that she possessed no marketable skills. She was able to get a grant and she had applied for every income based scholarship that there was. The essays she submitted highlighted the desperateness of her situation. Scholarship money helped make up for what her job could not do. That’s why it was so necessary that she maintained an exemplary grade point average, which she did.
The craziest thing happened though. She discovered that she was capable, even a little smart. Also, she discovered that she loved school.
This is what Simone thought of as she held her son. Now, she was going to celebrate Christmas.
***
“Unbelievable,” her work mate, Frances Anderson, exclaimed in total disbelief. “You have never celebrated Christmas?”
“Nope,” Simone replied, feeling just a little annoyed at Frances’ disbelief.
“Well, this is something else. It’s going to be your first Christmas and KJ’s first Christmas.”
“If I can figure out how to pull it off.”
“Oh, we’ve got to get you a tree.”
“We?”
Frances was considerably older than Simone. She had one child in college, a daughter. There were also two adult sons who lived in another state now. Her husband had left her for a younger blond some time ago. Frances’ response to that was: “One of us was going to have to go. I was tired of his old behind and he was tired of me. At least I got the house and a nice fat check. Fucker.”
The woman always had a smile ready and a quick sense of wit. Despite her age and a bit of weight, she was a nice looking lady and full of life. She loved to laugh and joke around. Everyone loved her in the office. Simone would not have survived if it was not for her. Frances had made it her personal project to guide her along and Simone was extremely grateful.
“Yes,” Frances said, wrapping her arm around Simone’s shoulders. “Everyone should experience Christmas. It is truly the best time of the year. This is going to be so much fun.”
Frances gave Simone an extra squeeze. Simone immediately regretted having shared her son’s request with the woman. She liked Frances dearly and probably talked to her more than anyone in her life right now. Having the woman actually involved in the details was another story though.
Frances liked Simone. Quite attached, she looked forward to their conversations over lunch. She had even had Simone over a couple of times during the weekend. There were things, however, that Simone was holding back and that was apparent to Frances. Frances was a perceptive woman. There were the obvious things that were easily deductible. The lovely young girl was struggling as a single mother, attempting to have a better life, trying to keep a decrepit car going and doing an excellent job of raising the sweetest little boy. That poor excuse for an automobile had broken down once. Frances insisted that Simone let her drive her home. Simone lived in a questionable area. Frances had never even been to that part of town before.
There was more to the situation though and Frances knew it.
Simone was more than just pretty. The brown skinned girl had a smile that could melt you, when she lightened up a bit. Her features were delicate. Simone obviously did not have a lot of clothes, but she obviously had a great sense of style, chose her limited wardrobe well and displayed an excellent sense of class. The clothes she wore always fit her curvy figure just so and was always well coordinated. They were never suggestive or too tight. Frances loved the way she kept her hair in a neat little cropped style, reminding Frances of Halle Berry. Her make-up was minimal and tasteful. She was the kind of girl Frances wished her sons would bring home.
Every once in a while Frances caught a glimpse of a former life. The way Simone spoke and commented on things. Her vocabulary made Frances feel a little disadvantaged at times. She knew where to get extravagant goodies for meetings, and knew about fine cheeses, recommended restaurants for entertaining clients. Once, she had talked about a vacation spot and given bargain shopping pointers for stores Frances only treated herself too occasionally. It was not boastful at all, but more like a casual slip of the tongue based on conversations initiated by others and for their benefit.
Frances had gathered that Simone was raised in a two parent home. She even had a sister. They obviously did not help out with her son—definitely not financially. Everything was spoken about in past tense though. Frances had even asked one time if Simone’s parents were alive. Simone had simply said no. Frances saw a sadness wash over her and the girl hardly said a word for several days. The girl never ever mentioned her son’s father, even when Frances playfully encouraged a little husband bashing. There had been a secretary around Simone’s age that was planning a wedding. Simone mentioned something about her own wedding dress and things she had done to keep the expenses down. Once again, hinting at a former life that included some luxuries that seemed beyond her current pay status. Of course Frances had been eavesdropping, she had being nosey down to a fine art. The fact that she was not a gossip redeemed her.
The office consisted mostly of men, educated professionals. It was a perfect opportunity to find a companion. Many of the secretaries had managed to marry quite well. Men were obviously drawn to Simone. Simone worked on Saturday’s to make up for the hours she was not able to work during the week. She brought her son with her, it was fine because there never was anyone in her section. He played quietly at one end of her desk or on a blanket beside it. The child had the prettiest grey eyes and a full head of curls. He was almost as white as Frances was herself. So, Frances knew that Simone did not have an aversion to the Caucasian men that made attempts to take her to lunch or even dinner. She was no more than polite to the few black men that worked there as well. Most of them were already married. A girl in her mid-twenties had needs. Hell, Frances had to admit that working around such fine and interesting collection of men made her feel her own sense of need. But, Simone was pretty much oblivious. One time, one of the engineers had moved rather suddenly reaching across her while looking at some plans. Simone had flinched and moved away. The guy had not noticed. Frances had. Simone had realized this and looked ashamed.
To Frances, Simone was quite interesting and she had liked her immediately. She admired the girl’s drive and the fact that she was going after her education. She wanted to help and this seemed like the perfect opportunity.
***
Picking out a tree was harder than Simone had thought. Of course they looked for an artificial one. Under the impression that only the wealthy bought real trees, she did not even bother to go looking for one. The expense was too much at the store they went to in the beginning. She ended up at a store that was more of a cluttered warehouse. They had often received advertisements for it in the mail. The tree KJ wanted at first was a little too big. The one Simone felt like they could afford looked comically sparse. It was easy to give in to KJ when he found something in the medium price range, but it still lacked the fullness of what it was supposed to be mimicking. KJ was easily pleased when it came to the decorations even though they seemed rather tacky. Simone was quite thankful.
How to manage things financially was still a bit of a mystery. This was an unexpected expense. Toys were going to be a challenge. She was scared to file for child support. Scared that her husband would retaliate. Or worse yet, he would attempt to take KJ just out of pure meanness. He had money. She made just enough to sustain them. Sometimes the bill juggling, as basic as they were, kept her up at night. She would simply try to take her mind off of it by just doing more studying. It represented hope.
When they finally made it home, she was exhausted. KJ was a ball of energy. He insisted that they put the tree together and decorate it. Having never done it before, Simone found the process a little bit irritating. However, when it came time to do the decorating, KJ’s excitement was contagious. The poor tree looked awful. She tried to spread the limbs out as much as possible. Besides that, KJ had insisted on loading it down with this silver stringy stuff. The stuff seemed to get scattered everywhere.
They had forgotten one thing. Lights. She explained to KJ that it would have to wait till next payday because they still needed some grocery. He was a little disappointed, but it did not last long once he started dancing around the tree. Realizing that she had not given it much thought in advance, the tree really should not have been erected in the center of the area considered to be a living room. She shook her head. That darn silver stuff was going to be a pain in the butt.
Finally settling down on the couch, they watched a Christmas movie that AJ found. Arnold Schwarzenegger was desperately trying to get his son some toy. It was hilarious. Simone made hot chocolate with marshmallows and watched her son glance at his creation every once in a while. It was nice to see him happy.
After he was tucked neatly in bed, Simone faced the hardest part of her day—the late evening. She was alone with her thoughts and worries. She was lonely and sometimes horny. This guy named Gary from work popped up in her head every once in a while. But mostly, she tried to plan things out. There was almost two weeks till Christmas. She did not have any more actual classes. She would turn in her final paper on Monday. She had a paycheck coming in on Wednesday. AJ’s school would let out. There were all sorts of interesting things going on in the city for kids right now and she wished she could work some type of activity in for KJ. They did parks and occasional things. She wished she could do something special for him. He deserved so much more than she had to give him. Her mind was constantly organizing it all. Christmas was proving to be just another stress.
***
“It really does look pitiful, but he loves it,” Simone was telling Frances.
“You have to let me see it,” Francis laughed.
Simone pretended that she did not hear that and started talking about the rest of their evening.
She described the movie they watched. That guy, Gary, just happened to be passing by and supplied the name since Simone could not remember. He was always looking for ways to start conversations with Simone. He was tall, dark haired with the kindest hazel eyes. A transfer from another office, he was brought in to do some painful restructuring. Frances had been his assistant for a short while, struggling between her regular boss and him. She had been so happy when he was finally given his own secretary.
Gary had insisted on taking the two women to lunch several times. On Secretarial Day, he bought them roses, even though they did not directly work for him. It raised a few eyes. He often bought them Lattes since Simone had mentioned a preference for them after a really bad cup of what the office had to offer. Although he included Frances, it was obvious that Simone was his focus. He had asked her out twice, but she had politely declined claiming plans with her son. Then she obviously seemed to avoid him. At first he was deterred, but not for long. He kept it casual, but remained hopeful.
Frances smiled. Gary was all business when it called for it. He could even be a little intimidating. He had to put quite a few unhappy people in their place. The changes he had to make were generally unwelcomed. However, Francis had discovered that he was basically quite kind with a generous, calm nature. He was in his early thirties, had never been married before and had no kids. Francis knew that he liked kids. Gary had bought his little brother, from the Big Brothers and Sisters volunteer program, by the office once. As far as Francis was concerned, the two would make a handsome couple. Gary had actually made better progress than any of the others that had made a play for Simone’s attention. She would talk to him freely sometimes, even laugh. That was another little project for Frances.
***
Frances proved to be quite the little busy body. On the Saturday before Christmas, she just decided to pop up at Simone’s door with a large elaborately wrapped box in hand. Simone was not only surprised but a little taken aback.
“Frances,” she stepped out and closed the door behind her, “you should have called.”
“I was out this way,” Frances laughed nervously, “and I wanted to bring a gift by for KJ.”
At that moment, KJ opened the door looking for his mother.
“KJ,” Frances was so relieved, “I have this big old gift to put under your tree.”
“For me!” KJ eyes stretched wide.
“It’s from Santa,” Frances announced.
That comment brought KJ back to reality quick. “There is no Santa.”
“You know you’re right,” Frances laughed, embarrassed. “It’s from me.”
“For under the tree?”
“Yep.” Frances looked up at Simone with a pleading look in her eyes.
After a moment that seemed like a forever, Simone stepped aside to let her in. They had decided to leave the tree in the center of the floor, in front of the couch.
“Oh KJ,” she placed the package on the bare floor next to four other smaller wrapped packages, “you did a wonderful job.”
“Mommy and I did it.”
“It’s beautiful.”
Simone rolled her eyes and the two women laughed. She was a little embarrassed by the bareness of her apartment. They never had any company. KJ’s room was the only one fully furnished and decorated. That had been important to Simone for KJ’s sake. She knew how it must appear in Frances’ eyes. Frances had a beautiful home that was quite picturesque.
Frances did not seem to notice, continuing to talk with KJ as she sat on the couch. When she looked up at Simone, she simply smiled. Simone felt uncomfortable and did not know quite what to do. It took a moment for her general manners to kick in.
“Coffee,” she blurted out. “Would you like some coffee Frances?”
“Yes, I would like that.” Once again, Frances was relieved.
Simone fumbled in the kitchen, but finally managed to get the coffee brewing. She knew how Frances liked it, lots of cream and lots of sugar. She had some biscotti in a Ziploc bag that she saved for those special moments when she needed a treat. So, she tried to arrange one on a makeshift saucer neatly and brought the coffee out to Frances with a napkin.
To Simone’s dismay, Frances had already told KJ that she wanted to take him to the ice skating rink. KJ was already excited in expectation when he told his mother. Simone glared at Frances. How dare she? All Simone could think about is how they did not have money for that.
“Please?” Frances said, knowing she had overstepped her place but also knowing that hooking KJ was the surest path to getting her way. “It’s my treat. My kids used to love going there. I love it and I’ll look a little strange out there all by myself.”
Simone sighed.
***
Frances was on a roll. She made it impossible for Simone to say no to a Santa visit set up beside the rink. KJ was incapable of standing still as they waited in line. There were teenage girls dressed as elves giving out candy canes. KJ quickly made friends with a little girl in front of him, which surprised Simone. Frances had a word with Santa before KJ climbed in his lap. Santa gave KJ a little souvenir and asked him what he wanted for Christmas. At first, KJ just said something about a super hero figure. Santa asked him what else he wanted. KJ was hesitant. Then he was thoughtful. He named something else. Santa was not satisfied. He asked him for some more ideas. KJ’s requests became more and more creative. Simone felt a tinge of guilt. Only one item that he mentioned was actually under the tree. It was a simple train. When KJ finally climbed down, he ran to his mother with his Santa picture in hand, almost knocking her down with enthusiasm. He gave her the biggest hug.
He reached over and hugged Frances. “Group hug,” he announced.
The skating rink was crowded and it was cold. The sky was a little grey but music and laughter was in the air. Frances took a guess at Simone’s shoe size and rented her skates as well. It had been forever since Simone had skated. KJ had been really little the last time they had come and she had just skated with him in her arms. KJ was extremely uncoordinated. He seemed to have as much fun on his bottom as he did on the skates.
When Simone saw Gary with his little brother, she just looked at Frances, who was sticking closely to the rail, and simply shook her head. Gary was all smiles in a knitted cap, a jacket and jeans. He looked younger in everyday clothes. He almost toppled Simone over, unable to stop himself completely when he approached.
“I’m not very good at this.”
Simone laughed, embarrassed. They were so close she could smell his scent and feel the warmth of his breath. It made her not want him to let her go. He looked at her as if he could read her mind. The two of them just hung on to each other for moment.
“I hope you don’t mind, but Frances told me about your plans today and invited me along,” he explained.
“You mean her scheme.”
Embarrassment flooded Gary’s face. “She’s a tricky one. But, I’m thankful.”
Simone didn’t know what to say. Gary knew what he wanted and took her hand as he encouraged her to skate with him.
Although Gary’s little brother was a little older than KJ, the two kids hit it off immediately. Neither one of them was any good on the ice and refused help. As the day progressed, they did not get any better. It started to get colder, so it was a mutual decision to call it quits. Even the hot chocolate was little relief. Gary insisted that they let him treat everyone to dinner. He used the same exact tactic that Frances used. The children made it impossible to say no. Frances waited till after Simone agreed and they were about to enter the eatery, to suddenly announce that she had to leave. She had plans with a relative and if she did not show up there would be hell to pay. Once again, Simone could not do anything but shake her head. Gary happily agreed to make sure Simone and KJ were delivered home safely.
“You’re not slick,” Simone whispered to Frances.
“Oh honey,” Frances said with a wave of her hand, “you have no idea.”
Later, while the boys were animatedly entertaining one another, Gary reached over and took her hand again. There was something about him that made Simone feel…comfortable.
“You don’t know how long I’ve waited for this moment.” He said. Then he looked over at the boys and laughed. “It’s not exactly how I planned.”
Simone just smiled. Her cheeks were starting to hurt; she had smiled so much today. She could not remember feeling so relaxed.
When they left the warmth of the little bistro it was getting dark. The Christmas lights were spectacular. In the square there were arches of lights and displays that moved. The boys gravitated to it. The couple followed along. Gary warned them not to stray too far.
“I’d like to see you again,” he whispered in her ear, standing behind her as they watched the boys. Gary had bought them sparklers from one of the street venders. “And, again and again. Just the two of us, adult style.”
“I…” She hesitated. Simone was not sure if she was ready to date. Her experience with her husband had just been so devastating. She had given the best she had to that man and she was not enough. He treated her like she had no value. Was there anything left? Could she ever take that chance again?
“Please don’t say no. I don’t know what your story is, but I care. We can take it real slow, you and I. I’m a patient man. I want you to get to know me and I get to know you, earn your trust. I want to get to know KJ and earn his. That’s all I’m asking for.”
She felt butterflies in her stomach and strange all over. KJ turned and waved at her. He was so happy. Then suddenly, the snow they had been expecting all day started to fall. She looked up at the sky and all the lights around her. Her eyes started water just a little. It made the lights start to dance. She laughed when she noticed the song that was being sung by a group of carolers nearby.
“The first noel…”
This was way too surreal.
As they entered her part of town, Simone tried not to fret about what Gary must be thinking. He glanced over at her a few times and smiled. He held her hand. She missed it when he had to let go. When they pulled up in front of her apartment. He looked around. Both of the boys were sleep. The couple just looked at one another for a while. Gary kissed the back of her hand.
Outside of the SUV, Gary gathered the passed out KJ from the back seat.
“He’s heavy,” he laughed.
He could not just leave his little brother in the car and Simone definitely did not want him to.
So, she reached out for her son.
“Can you manage?”
“Of course.”
“Damn, she was pretty,” he thought.
Simone flashed him that smile and turned to go. She liked the way he looked at her.
“First Christmas,” Gary called after her as she made her way to her apartment.
Simone turned and laughed.
“Yep.”
“Hey,” he laughed, “and it’s a white one. It snowed just for you.”
Simone looked around her and laughed again, sore cheeks and all. The complex looked kind of nice, everything was starting to disappear under a blanket of white.
After putting KJ to bed, without turning on the overhead lights or the TV, she turned on the strand of lights they had bought for the tree. It made the tree look a little better, a little. She sat on the warn couch and hummed the song from the square.
***
On Christmas Eve, Frances did call first. “I hope you have yourself together because Gary and I are coming over,” she declared and quickly hung up.
KJ clapped when she told him why she was quickly changing out of the sweats she had on.
When they finally knocked at the door, Simone was unprepared for what stood in front of her. Gary had a huge live tree that he seemed to be struggling with. Frances had her hands full as well.
“Look,” she began to explain. “My daughter is spending Christmas with her father and his heifer. Gary’s family lives all the way in Wisconsin. We need you.”
Gary laughed.
Simone released her pride and relieved Frances of some of the bags. Gary tried to get the tree in without knocking over the one already there.
“I have two trees,” KJ cried out.
“And lots of presents too,” Frances told him.
It took several trips to Gary’s SUV before he finally had everything in the apartment. KJ was a little disappointed that Gary had not brought his little brother, but it was easily forgotten. Frances and he made a gingerbread house out of a kit she had brought. Frances had thought of everything, even her edited version of eggnog.
“This is for later,” she teased, holding it up.
Gary and Simone set up the new tree and took out the decorations, laughing and flirting playfully. Simone’s visitors had bought everything from the star that went on top to the beautiful skirt that went at the bottom. The decorations were beautiful. The tree was full and lush, filling the corner section of the room. Simone loved the smell of it. They moved the other tree to the other corner. KJ was not offended at all. He loved them both. There were presents from Gary and presents from Frances. Simone had a funny feeling that they contained everything AJ had asked Santa for. They spilled out from under the tree and left KJ starry eyed.
Frances took plenty of pictures as she told everyone to pose for KJ’s first Christmas. She insisted that
Simone open her gift. It was a lush house coat with matching bunny slippers. It had Simone’s name embroidered on it. Simone felt so bad that she had not bought Frances anything. Frances assured her that it did not matter at all, being with Simone and KJ had made her holiday special. She made a toast before she left.
“To new beginnings and future Christmas’ that will just get better and better every year.”
Simone could not imagine it being any better.
After KJ finally fell asleep, Gary carried him to the bed. Simone tucked him in.
“There might be a Santa Claus,” KJ mumbled half asleep.
The couple laughed. They were standing beside his bed looking in to each other’s eyes. When Gary moved closer, Simone did not move away. When his lips paused before brushing against hers, she closed her eyes. When she wrapped her arms around Gary’s neck, he kissed her fully. They both were smiling from ear to ear as they held hands and made their way to the couch.
Gary had a small wrapped gift for her to open.
“Gary,” she sighed.
“Actually,” he teased. “I wanted to give you your first Christmas present, but Frances refused to leave until you opened hers.”
Simone opened it slowly.
It was a rather expensive charm bracelet with four charms. One was a Christmas present, the second one said best mom and the third said girlfriends.”
“Frances helped me pick that one out, of course,” he supplied as she fingered the third one.
The last one was an intricately designed gold heart.
“That’s mine,” he said with unusual shyness.
Simone kissed him. She had never initiated a kiss in her life.
“Thank you.”
The light from both of the trees was a bit much, so they chose to keep the larger one on. It truly was beautiful. Simone just felt too good settling in his arms as they stretched out on the couch. Although it was past midnight, he did not want to leave and she did not want him to. He was satisfied with just holding her. Gary had sincerely meant everything he had said to Simone.
“It’s not very comfortable,” she apologized.
“It’s perfect,” Gary told her.
Simone shook her head in agreement.
“Merry Christmas,” she whispered.
As she did most nights, Simone had fallen asleep sitting up with her back against the wall, surrounded by a sea of open text books and study notes. She heard the call but it was lost in the midst of a dream and the beautiful cries of violins. The dress she wore swayed as she danced.
The tall, dark haired gentleman that wooed her lowered his head to whisper in her ear, “Mommy.”
She woke up with a start, causing the open book in her lap to slip and close shut. “Shit,” she said. It had taken forever to find the passage she needed and now she would have to start her search again. Immediately she regretted the slip of tongue when she saw her five year old son standing there in his flannel pajamas.
“You owe me a quarter,” he said as a matter-of-fact.
“I thought we changed it to dimes,” Simone grinned, trying to get across the surface of her bed, which actually was just one mattress on the floor, without destroying her complex system of order.
It beat sleeping on the second hand couch in the living room, which she had done for months.
“I never agreed to that.” He used one of her frequent phrases.
“Oh,” Simone laughed as she struggled to pick him up and then positioned him on her hip. He was little for his age. “You are not allowed to use my own words on me, little man.”
“Than whose words am I going to use?” he reasoned.
“You will have to find your own like everyone else.”
He thought about it for a moment.
“Why are you up?” Simone asked, letting the fingers of her other hand tousle his brownish blond curls as she carried him toward his bedroom.
“My head won’t go to sleep,” he returned, wrinkling his brow a bit.
“Your head isn’t hurting is it?” She automatically laid the back of her hand against his forehead and let out a long breath of relief. He did not have a fever.
With finals and one research paper still not written, having her son get sick would be disastrous.
“No, I just keep thinking about stuff,” he said.
Her son, Kenneth (whom she called KJ), was way too serious for a little kid. But then, he had been through a lot. Truth was, they both had been through too much. Most of it had been beyond her control. The rest of it had been an effort to gain control. Regardless, he was strong and seemed to be emerging from their ordeal well. His marks in school were good and he was starting to mix well with the other children. She had been so worried that he would continue to separate himself.
She pulled back his covers, placed her son in his small bed and laid beside him. “What kind of stuff?”
“Christmas stuff.”
The boy watched his mother carefully, trying to read her expression with only the help of a nearby night light.
“Uhm…well…What stuff about Christmas?”
“I wanna’Christmas.”
“Do you,” Simone tried not to sound surprised.
He had never mentioned Christmas before. And, she, the daughter of devout Jehovah’s Witnesses, had never celebrated Christmas. As a matter of fact, other than looking forward to a break from school, Simone had not given it a second thought. But, she remembered being in school when she was just a little older than him and hating Christmas time. Not the holiday itself, but the way it seemed like she was missing out on so much. Then afterwards, everyone would have new bikes or just so many toys in general. Her mother and father rarely bought her new things and specifically did not around this time of year.
“Well,” she said, letting out a deep breath, “what exactly do you want?”
“I want a tree,” he began, “with lights. And, maybe some presents.”
“You know that there is no such thing and Santa Clause.”
He shook his head yes.
“Jesus wasn’t born during the winter time.”
He shook his head.
I give you presents all the time because I don’t need a special time to let you know I love you.”
He shook his head again.
There were other reasons why Christmas should not be celebrated, or at least that was what she had believed for most of her life. It hardly seemed of consequence now since she had not attended a religious meeting since she had left Kenny Sr. Her parents refused to speak to her. Pretty much, everyone she had once associated with had separated themselves from her, even people she had grown up with and had known all her life. She was not bitter about it. She understood why. She had stepped away from something they believed to be the main purpose of life. She was now on the other side of the fence. Simone accepted that fact. She had no intentions of every going back.
“Okay,” she decided. “We will get a tree, we will get some presents and you’ll have a Christmas.”
Just like that, she had gone against all she knew.
Simone held on to KJ as he fell off to sleep. She had no idea how she was going to afford new toys for him. He used to have a lot. Things had changed though. Now she was the soul bread winner, working a part time office job and going to school full time. Things had been tighter than just tight since she had left her husband. He had made it clear that if she did not want him, she would get nothing from him. He had stayed true to his word, as Simone knew he would. She had seen just how evil and spiteful he could get. That is why she had chosen to leave. He had no intentions of changing, regardless of his religion.
When she had finally decided that she could not take anymore, Simone was in a hospital bed. There were representatives from her faith in her room, telling her how they would handle the situation for her. Inside she had laughed. What was ironic was that they were supposed to have been looking out for her all along. She had believed their counsel and stayed. She had done everything they had advised. All they had seemed to do was support her husband and protect their organization’s reputation. She had started to get angry just thinking about it. She had wanted to scream. For the first time in her life, she wanted her voice to be heard more than anything. She had been the submissive, dutiful daughter and wife for far too long. A whole new set of words came to mind, words that seemed liberating. But, her jaw was fractured and she could not even open her mouth to say “kiss my ass”.
When she walked into the shelter for abused women, her jaw was still sore and her face swollen. So, speaking was a bit challenging. Her eye looked a whole lot better and she could actually see out of it, even though the part that should have been white was still bloody red. However, she felt blessed that the cast on her left arm was not on her right and her bruised rib did not ache every time her chest filled with air. Too, she had her son. That was something her husband did not protest. He felt that it would make things more challenging for her. He would not even hand over KJ’s or her clothes. She had nothing but the torn night gown she came to the hospital in. She barely remembered sneaking out of the house and practically passing out at her neighbor’s back door. With a little help from social services, the shelter, the Salvation Army and a friend of one of the volunteers at the shelter, Simone had a job and a small two bedroom apartment. She started school soon after because she realized that she possessed no marketable skills. She was able to get a grant and she had applied for every income based scholarship that there was. The essays she submitted highlighted the desperateness of her situation. Scholarship money helped make up for what her job could not do. That’s why it was so necessary that she maintained an exemplary grade point average, which she did.
The craziest thing happened though. She discovered that she was capable, even a little smart. Also, she discovered that she loved school.
This is what Simone thought of as she held her son. Now, she was going to celebrate Christmas.
***
“Unbelievable,” her work mate, Frances Anderson, exclaimed in total disbelief. “You have never celebrated Christmas?”
“Nope,” Simone replied, feeling just a little annoyed at Frances’ disbelief.
“Well, this is something else. It’s going to be your first Christmas and KJ’s first Christmas.”
“If I can figure out how to pull it off.”
“Oh, we’ve got to get you a tree.”
“We?”
Frances was considerably older than Simone. She had one child in college, a daughter. There were also two adult sons who lived in another state now. Her husband had left her for a younger blond some time ago. Frances’ response to that was: “One of us was going to have to go. I was tired of his old behind and he was tired of me. At least I got the house and a nice fat check. Fucker.”
The woman always had a smile ready and a quick sense of wit. Despite her age and a bit of weight, she was a nice looking lady and full of life. She loved to laugh and joke around. Everyone loved her in the office. Simone would not have survived if it was not for her. Frances had made it her personal project to guide her along and Simone was extremely grateful.
“Yes,” Frances said, wrapping her arm around Simone’s shoulders. “Everyone should experience Christmas. It is truly the best time of the year. This is going to be so much fun.”
Frances gave Simone an extra squeeze. Simone immediately regretted having shared her son’s request with the woman. She liked Frances dearly and probably talked to her more than anyone in her life right now. Having the woman actually involved in the details was another story though.
Frances liked Simone. Quite attached, she looked forward to their conversations over lunch. She had even had Simone over a couple of times during the weekend. There were things, however, that Simone was holding back and that was apparent to Frances. Frances was a perceptive woman. There were the obvious things that were easily deductible. The lovely young girl was struggling as a single mother, attempting to have a better life, trying to keep a decrepit car going and doing an excellent job of raising the sweetest little boy. That poor excuse for an automobile had broken down once. Frances insisted that Simone let her drive her home. Simone lived in a questionable area. Frances had never even been to that part of town before.
There was more to the situation though and Frances knew it.
Simone was more than just pretty. The brown skinned girl had a smile that could melt you, when she lightened up a bit. Her features were delicate. Simone obviously did not have a lot of clothes, but she obviously had a great sense of style, chose her limited wardrobe well and displayed an excellent sense of class. The clothes she wore always fit her curvy figure just so and was always well coordinated. They were never suggestive or too tight. Frances loved the way she kept her hair in a neat little cropped style, reminding Frances of Halle Berry. Her make-up was minimal and tasteful. She was the kind of girl Frances wished her sons would bring home.
Every once in a while Frances caught a glimpse of a former life. The way Simone spoke and commented on things. Her vocabulary made Frances feel a little disadvantaged at times. She knew where to get extravagant goodies for meetings, and knew about fine cheeses, recommended restaurants for entertaining clients. Once, she had talked about a vacation spot and given bargain shopping pointers for stores Frances only treated herself too occasionally. It was not boastful at all, but more like a casual slip of the tongue based on conversations initiated by others and for their benefit.
Frances had gathered that Simone was raised in a two parent home. She even had a sister. They obviously did not help out with her son—definitely not financially. Everything was spoken about in past tense though. Frances had even asked one time if Simone’s parents were alive. Simone had simply said no. Frances saw a sadness wash over her and the girl hardly said a word for several days. The girl never ever mentioned her son’s father, even when Frances playfully encouraged a little husband bashing. There had been a secretary around Simone’s age that was planning a wedding. Simone mentioned something about her own wedding dress and things she had done to keep the expenses down. Once again, hinting at a former life that included some luxuries that seemed beyond her current pay status. Of course Frances had been eavesdropping, she had being nosey down to a fine art. The fact that she was not a gossip redeemed her.
The office consisted mostly of men, educated professionals. It was a perfect opportunity to find a companion. Many of the secretaries had managed to marry quite well. Men were obviously drawn to Simone. Simone worked on Saturday’s to make up for the hours she was not able to work during the week. She brought her son with her, it was fine because there never was anyone in her section. He played quietly at one end of her desk or on a blanket beside it. The child had the prettiest grey eyes and a full head of curls. He was almost as white as Frances was herself. So, Frances knew that Simone did not have an aversion to the Caucasian men that made attempts to take her to lunch or even dinner. She was no more than polite to the few black men that worked there as well. Most of them were already married. A girl in her mid-twenties had needs. Hell, Frances had to admit that working around such fine and interesting collection of men made her feel her own sense of need. But, Simone was pretty much oblivious. One time, one of the engineers had moved rather suddenly reaching across her while looking at some plans. Simone had flinched and moved away. The guy had not noticed. Frances had. Simone had realized this and looked ashamed.
To Frances, Simone was quite interesting and she had liked her immediately. She admired the girl’s drive and the fact that she was going after her education. She wanted to help and this seemed like the perfect opportunity.
***
Picking out a tree was harder than Simone had thought. Of course they looked for an artificial one. Under the impression that only the wealthy bought real trees, she did not even bother to go looking for one. The expense was too much at the store they went to in the beginning. She ended up at a store that was more of a cluttered warehouse. They had often received advertisements for it in the mail. The tree KJ wanted at first was a little too big. The one Simone felt like they could afford looked comically sparse. It was easy to give in to KJ when he found something in the medium price range, but it still lacked the fullness of what it was supposed to be mimicking. KJ was easily pleased when it came to the decorations even though they seemed rather tacky. Simone was quite thankful.
How to manage things financially was still a bit of a mystery. This was an unexpected expense. Toys were going to be a challenge. She was scared to file for child support. Scared that her husband would retaliate. Or worse yet, he would attempt to take KJ just out of pure meanness. He had money. She made just enough to sustain them. Sometimes the bill juggling, as basic as they were, kept her up at night. She would simply try to take her mind off of it by just doing more studying. It represented hope.
When they finally made it home, she was exhausted. KJ was a ball of energy. He insisted that they put the tree together and decorate it. Having never done it before, Simone found the process a little bit irritating. However, when it came time to do the decorating, KJ’s excitement was contagious. The poor tree looked awful. She tried to spread the limbs out as much as possible. Besides that, KJ had insisted on loading it down with this silver stringy stuff. The stuff seemed to get scattered everywhere.
They had forgotten one thing. Lights. She explained to KJ that it would have to wait till next payday because they still needed some grocery. He was a little disappointed, but it did not last long once he started dancing around the tree. Realizing that she had not given it much thought in advance, the tree really should not have been erected in the center of the area considered to be a living room. She shook her head. That darn silver stuff was going to be a pain in the butt.
Finally settling down on the couch, they watched a Christmas movie that AJ found. Arnold Schwarzenegger was desperately trying to get his son some toy. It was hilarious. Simone made hot chocolate with marshmallows and watched her son glance at his creation every once in a while. It was nice to see him happy.
After he was tucked neatly in bed, Simone faced the hardest part of her day—the late evening. She was alone with her thoughts and worries. She was lonely and sometimes horny. This guy named Gary from work popped up in her head every once in a while. But mostly, she tried to plan things out. There was almost two weeks till Christmas. She did not have any more actual classes. She would turn in her final paper on Monday. She had a paycheck coming in on Wednesday. AJ’s school would let out. There were all sorts of interesting things going on in the city for kids right now and she wished she could work some type of activity in for KJ. They did parks and occasional things. She wished she could do something special for him. He deserved so much more than she had to give him. Her mind was constantly organizing it all. Christmas was proving to be just another stress.
***
“It really does look pitiful, but he loves it,” Simone was telling Frances.
“You have to let me see it,” Francis laughed.
Simone pretended that she did not hear that and started talking about the rest of their evening.
She described the movie they watched. That guy, Gary, just happened to be passing by and supplied the name since Simone could not remember. He was always looking for ways to start conversations with Simone. He was tall, dark haired with the kindest hazel eyes. A transfer from another office, he was brought in to do some painful restructuring. Frances had been his assistant for a short while, struggling between her regular boss and him. She had been so happy when he was finally given his own secretary.
Gary had insisted on taking the two women to lunch several times. On Secretarial Day, he bought them roses, even though they did not directly work for him. It raised a few eyes. He often bought them Lattes since Simone had mentioned a preference for them after a really bad cup of what the office had to offer. Although he included Frances, it was obvious that Simone was his focus. He had asked her out twice, but she had politely declined claiming plans with her son. Then she obviously seemed to avoid him. At first he was deterred, but not for long. He kept it casual, but remained hopeful.
Frances smiled. Gary was all business when it called for it. He could even be a little intimidating. He had to put quite a few unhappy people in their place. The changes he had to make were generally unwelcomed. However, Francis had discovered that he was basically quite kind with a generous, calm nature. He was in his early thirties, had never been married before and had no kids. Francis knew that he liked kids. Gary had bought his little brother, from the Big Brothers and Sisters volunteer program, by the office once. As far as Francis was concerned, the two would make a handsome couple. Gary had actually made better progress than any of the others that had made a play for Simone’s attention. She would talk to him freely sometimes, even laugh. That was another little project for Frances.
***
Frances proved to be quite the little busy body. On the Saturday before Christmas, she just decided to pop up at Simone’s door with a large elaborately wrapped box in hand. Simone was not only surprised but a little taken aback.
“Frances,” she stepped out and closed the door behind her, “you should have called.”
“I was out this way,” Frances laughed nervously, “and I wanted to bring a gift by for KJ.”
At that moment, KJ opened the door looking for his mother.
“KJ,” Frances was so relieved, “I have this big old gift to put under your tree.”
“For me!” KJ eyes stretched wide.
“It’s from Santa,” Frances announced.
That comment brought KJ back to reality quick. “There is no Santa.”
“You know you’re right,” Frances laughed, embarrassed. “It’s from me.”
“For under the tree?”
“Yep.” Frances looked up at Simone with a pleading look in her eyes.
After a moment that seemed like a forever, Simone stepped aside to let her in. They had decided to leave the tree in the center of the floor, in front of the couch.
“Oh KJ,” she placed the package on the bare floor next to four other smaller wrapped packages, “you did a wonderful job.”
“Mommy and I did it.”
“It’s beautiful.”
Simone rolled her eyes and the two women laughed. She was a little embarrassed by the bareness of her apartment. They never had any company. KJ’s room was the only one fully furnished and decorated. That had been important to Simone for KJ’s sake. She knew how it must appear in Frances’ eyes. Frances had a beautiful home that was quite picturesque.
Frances did not seem to notice, continuing to talk with KJ as she sat on the couch. When she looked up at Simone, she simply smiled. Simone felt uncomfortable and did not know quite what to do. It took a moment for her general manners to kick in.
“Coffee,” she blurted out. “Would you like some coffee Frances?”
“Yes, I would like that.” Once again, Frances was relieved.
Simone fumbled in the kitchen, but finally managed to get the coffee brewing. She knew how Frances liked it, lots of cream and lots of sugar. She had some biscotti in a Ziploc bag that she saved for those special moments when she needed a treat. So, she tried to arrange one on a makeshift saucer neatly and brought the coffee out to Frances with a napkin.
To Simone’s dismay, Frances had already told KJ that she wanted to take him to the ice skating rink. KJ was already excited in expectation when he told his mother. Simone glared at Frances. How dare she? All Simone could think about is how they did not have money for that.
“Please?” Frances said, knowing she had overstepped her place but also knowing that hooking KJ was the surest path to getting her way. “It’s my treat. My kids used to love going there. I love it and I’ll look a little strange out there all by myself.”
Simone sighed.
***
Frances was on a roll. She made it impossible for Simone to say no to a Santa visit set up beside the rink. KJ was incapable of standing still as they waited in line. There were teenage girls dressed as elves giving out candy canes. KJ quickly made friends with a little girl in front of him, which surprised Simone. Frances had a word with Santa before KJ climbed in his lap. Santa gave KJ a little souvenir and asked him what he wanted for Christmas. At first, KJ just said something about a super hero figure. Santa asked him what else he wanted. KJ was hesitant. Then he was thoughtful. He named something else. Santa was not satisfied. He asked him for some more ideas. KJ’s requests became more and more creative. Simone felt a tinge of guilt. Only one item that he mentioned was actually under the tree. It was a simple train. When KJ finally climbed down, he ran to his mother with his Santa picture in hand, almost knocking her down with enthusiasm. He gave her the biggest hug.
He reached over and hugged Frances. “Group hug,” he announced.
The skating rink was crowded and it was cold. The sky was a little grey but music and laughter was in the air. Frances took a guess at Simone’s shoe size and rented her skates as well. It had been forever since Simone had skated. KJ had been really little the last time they had come and she had just skated with him in her arms. KJ was extremely uncoordinated. He seemed to have as much fun on his bottom as he did on the skates.
When Simone saw Gary with his little brother, she just looked at Frances, who was sticking closely to the rail, and simply shook her head. Gary was all smiles in a knitted cap, a jacket and jeans. He looked younger in everyday clothes. He almost toppled Simone over, unable to stop himself completely when he approached.
“I’m not very good at this.”
Simone laughed, embarrassed. They were so close she could smell his scent and feel the warmth of his breath. It made her not want him to let her go. He looked at her as if he could read her mind. The two of them just hung on to each other for moment.
“I hope you don’t mind, but Frances told me about your plans today and invited me along,” he explained.
“You mean her scheme.”
Embarrassment flooded Gary’s face. “She’s a tricky one. But, I’m thankful.”
Simone didn’t know what to say. Gary knew what he wanted and took her hand as he encouraged her to skate with him.
Although Gary’s little brother was a little older than KJ, the two kids hit it off immediately. Neither one of them was any good on the ice and refused help. As the day progressed, they did not get any better. It started to get colder, so it was a mutual decision to call it quits. Even the hot chocolate was little relief. Gary insisted that they let him treat everyone to dinner. He used the same exact tactic that Frances used. The children made it impossible to say no. Frances waited till after Simone agreed and they were about to enter the eatery, to suddenly announce that she had to leave. She had plans with a relative and if she did not show up there would be hell to pay. Once again, Simone could not do anything but shake her head. Gary happily agreed to make sure Simone and KJ were delivered home safely.
“You’re not slick,” Simone whispered to Frances.
“Oh honey,” Frances said with a wave of her hand, “you have no idea.”
Later, while the boys were animatedly entertaining one another, Gary reached over and took her hand again. There was something about him that made Simone feel…comfortable.
“You don’t know how long I’ve waited for this moment.” He said. Then he looked over at the boys and laughed. “It’s not exactly how I planned.”
Simone just smiled. Her cheeks were starting to hurt; she had smiled so much today. She could not remember feeling so relaxed.
When they left the warmth of the little bistro it was getting dark. The Christmas lights were spectacular. In the square there were arches of lights and displays that moved. The boys gravitated to it. The couple followed along. Gary warned them not to stray too far.
“I’d like to see you again,” he whispered in her ear, standing behind her as they watched the boys. Gary had bought them sparklers from one of the street venders. “And, again and again. Just the two of us, adult style.”
“I…” She hesitated. Simone was not sure if she was ready to date. Her experience with her husband had just been so devastating. She had given the best she had to that man and she was not enough. He treated her like she had no value. Was there anything left? Could she ever take that chance again?
“Please don’t say no. I don’t know what your story is, but I care. We can take it real slow, you and I. I’m a patient man. I want you to get to know me and I get to know you, earn your trust. I want to get to know KJ and earn his. That’s all I’m asking for.”
She felt butterflies in her stomach and strange all over. KJ turned and waved at her. He was so happy. Then suddenly, the snow they had been expecting all day started to fall. She looked up at the sky and all the lights around her. Her eyes started water just a little. It made the lights start to dance. She laughed when she noticed the song that was being sung by a group of carolers nearby.
“The first noel…”
This was way too surreal.
As they entered her part of town, Simone tried not to fret about what Gary must be thinking. He glanced over at her a few times and smiled. He held her hand. She missed it when he had to let go. When they pulled up in front of her apartment. He looked around. Both of the boys were sleep. The couple just looked at one another for a while. Gary kissed the back of her hand.
Outside of the SUV, Gary gathered the passed out KJ from the back seat.
“He’s heavy,” he laughed.
He could not just leave his little brother in the car and Simone definitely did not want him to.
So, she reached out for her son.
“Can you manage?”
“Of course.”
“Damn, she was pretty,” he thought.
Simone flashed him that smile and turned to go. She liked the way he looked at her.
“First Christmas,” Gary called after her as she made her way to her apartment.
Simone turned and laughed.
“Yep.”
“Hey,” he laughed, “and it’s a white one. It snowed just for you.”
Simone looked around her and laughed again, sore cheeks and all. The complex looked kind of nice, everything was starting to disappear under a blanket of white.
After putting KJ to bed, without turning on the overhead lights or the TV, she turned on the strand of lights they had bought for the tree. It made the tree look a little better, a little. She sat on the warn couch and hummed the song from the square.
***
On Christmas Eve, Frances did call first. “I hope you have yourself together because Gary and I are coming over,” she declared and quickly hung up.
KJ clapped when she told him why she was quickly changing out of the sweats she had on.
When they finally knocked at the door, Simone was unprepared for what stood in front of her. Gary had a huge live tree that he seemed to be struggling with. Frances had her hands full as well.
“Look,” she began to explain. “My daughter is spending Christmas with her father and his heifer. Gary’s family lives all the way in Wisconsin. We need you.”
Gary laughed.
Simone released her pride and relieved Frances of some of the bags. Gary tried to get the tree in without knocking over the one already there.
“I have two trees,” KJ cried out.
“And lots of presents too,” Frances told him.
It took several trips to Gary’s SUV before he finally had everything in the apartment. KJ was a little disappointed that Gary had not brought his little brother, but it was easily forgotten. Frances and he made a gingerbread house out of a kit she had brought. Frances had thought of everything, even her edited version of eggnog.
“This is for later,” she teased, holding it up.
Gary and Simone set up the new tree and took out the decorations, laughing and flirting playfully. Simone’s visitors had bought everything from the star that went on top to the beautiful skirt that went at the bottom. The decorations were beautiful. The tree was full and lush, filling the corner section of the room. Simone loved the smell of it. They moved the other tree to the other corner. KJ was not offended at all. He loved them both. There were presents from Gary and presents from Frances. Simone had a funny feeling that they contained everything AJ had asked Santa for. They spilled out from under the tree and left KJ starry eyed.
Frances took plenty of pictures as she told everyone to pose for KJ’s first Christmas. She insisted that
Simone open her gift. It was a lush house coat with matching bunny slippers. It had Simone’s name embroidered on it. Simone felt so bad that she had not bought Frances anything. Frances assured her that it did not matter at all, being with Simone and KJ had made her holiday special. She made a toast before she left.
“To new beginnings and future Christmas’ that will just get better and better every year.”
Simone could not imagine it being any better.
After KJ finally fell asleep, Gary carried him to the bed. Simone tucked him in.
“There might be a Santa Claus,” KJ mumbled half asleep.
The couple laughed. They were standing beside his bed looking in to each other’s eyes. When Gary moved closer, Simone did not move away. When his lips paused before brushing against hers, she closed her eyes. When she wrapped her arms around Gary’s neck, he kissed her fully. They both were smiling from ear to ear as they held hands and made their way to the couch.
Gary had a small wrapped gift for her to open.
“Gary,” she sighed.
“Actually,” he teased. “I wanted to give you your first Christmas present, but Frances refused to leave until you opened hers.”
Simone opened it slowly.
It was a rather expensive charm bracelet with four charms. One was a Christmas present, the second one said best mom and the third said girlfriends.”
“Frances helped me pick that one out, of course,” he supplied as she fingered the third one.
The last one was an intricately designed gold heart.
“That’s mine,” he said with unusual shyness.
Simone kissed him. She had never initiated a kiss in her life.
“Thank you.”
The light from both of the trees was a bit much, so they chose to keep the larger one on. It truly was beautiful. Simone just felt too good settling in his arms as they stretched out on the couch. Although it was past midnight, he did not want to leave and she did not want him to. He was satisfied with just holding her. Gary had sincerely meant everything he had said to Simone.
“It’s not very comfortable,” she apologized.
“It’s perfect,” Gary told her.
Simone shook her head in agreement.
“Merry Christmas,” she whispered.
