**This portion of damaged contains sexual content. Reader discretion is advised.**
Miki sat in her kitchen staring at the phone. She wanted to call Alan’s house, but had no idea what to say if he answered. Actually, at the moment, it wasn’t even Alan that she wanted to talk with. Sophia had gotten her so worked up in a blind rage that she stormed out of the house, leaving Dean alone with that bitch.
She held her breath, then finally picked up her phone and dialed. Each ring twisted the anxiety in her stomach tighter and tighter. She was actually thumbing the “end call” button in case Alan picked up.
“Hello?” a soft, small voice answered.
Miki exhaled, feeling relieved, “Hi Dean. It’s Miki…Ms. Yi. Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” the boy replied.
“I’m sorry I left like that, today,” she said. She hesitated then added, “That… person… Sophia… did she bother you?”
“No,” Dean said, “She just sat in the chair until dad got home. They got into a fight.”
Miki closed her eyes and shook her head. No, she didn’t want to think about what might have happened, what was said, and she didn’t want to ask the boy. She already regretted that he was there to experience it first-hand.
“Is…” the next question was the hardest for her, “Is your dad there?”
“No. He left right after she did.”
Miki leaned forward in her chair and continued to squeeze her eyes shut as she rubbed her temple. “Okay,” she said, “So you’re fine?”
“Uh-huh.”
She sighed, “Good. Have a good night, Dean. Sleep tight...”
“Ms. Yi?”
“Yes?”
There was a long pause on the other end. Then he said, “Nothing…it’s okay. Bye.”
Miki put down her phone. She stayed in her chair, feeling restless, thinking about what to do now. Speak to Alan, if she could find him? Confront Sophia and get her to tell her everything already, and then pull her blonde hair out by their roots?
She had broken pieces scattered in her head, but none of them seemed like they were even part of the same puzzle. She finally recollected that the initials S.J. may have stood for that teacher Sheryl Jennings, who got hit by the train along with her boyfriend 17 years ago. But why would Alan have her locket? He would have been a teenager, back then.
“Dammit Alan,” she winced. Every time she thought of him, she felt the strain on her heart. “What the hell is going on with you?”
A vicious emotional circle wracked her head. She realized now just how much she cared for him, because it hurt so much to feel betrayed like this.
Despite everything, she wanted to be with him, now more than ever.
Miki leaned back in her chair, rubbing her legs as she shook them up and down. This was no good. If she continued thinking about this all night, she’d go crazy. Her choices were either to go curl under her sheets and cry, or go burn off some anxiety with a hard run. She refused to cry. Through all of this, at least she hadn’t broken down.
She would find Alan and speak to him tomorrow.
Miki went to put on her jogging gear.
* * * * * * * * * *
It was an overcast night, making it even darker than usual, when Miki went for her nightly runs. Everything was cast in an eerie, greyish-blue hue. She ran hard through the darkness, just under a sprint, hoping her quick pace would burn away the distracting thoughts running through her head. However, as classical music played through her MP3 player, Miki still found her mind drifting while her body pushed itself harder and harder.
She ran across town, through empty roads, barely noticing the exertion she was putting on her heart, lungs, and legs. She wasn’t even aware of where her feet were taking her, only snapping out of her thoughts every so often, to realize she had made some arbitrary turn around a corner.
She was following the train tracks, now. Even in the dark, her eyes slowly began to register where she was and where she was headed. Starting to feel the strain on her body and the weight of thoughts in her mind, she slowed down and stopped at the side of the road. As she regained her breath, she stared into the woods.
Miki knew where she was now. She could make out the roughed out trail she and Alan had driven his truck along that night. Her breaths steadying, Miki reached into her pocket and pulled out a small key-chain flashlight. The light from it stretched out barely six feet ahead of her, but she followed it anyway, as she walked off the side of the road and into the woods.
* * * * * * * * *
Alan sat inside the shack, the glow of the lantern filling the small interior. He was somewhat calmer, now. He sat on the laid out cushion, brushing it lightly with his fingers as he recalled that night just a week ago. That night was the culmination of his seduction of Miki, but it became something more, his feelings for her changing even as before he reached his intense climax. She was so giving, so willing.
It was a brutal thought, realizing he would likely never have that chance to be with her that way again.
“Alan?” a soft voice called to him from outside the shack.
He looked up, stunned, not sure of what he was hearing.
“Are you in there?” Miki’s soothing voice asked, “I saw your truck out by the clearing.”
Even before he could stand up straight, Miki was at the doorway looking back at him. He could see the anxiety in her gentle features, the nervousness. It was taking everything she had for her to do this, to approach him like this. She was hurting. He wanted so badly to ease that pain.
Miki’s eyes glanced around the shack. She saw the broken glass from the windows of the floor; she probably noticed the torn pieces of siding outside. She knew Alan had been in a bad way a short time ago. Yet that still didn’t stop her as she stepped into the shack and stood quietly. He could see her mouth open and close as she tried to think of what to say. Maybe she was hoping he would start, but he had no words to offer. He didn’t have need for words right now. What he needed, was Miki. He closed his eyes and settled his mind.
Miki’s eyes had drifted to the floor. She was having trouble looking at the man directly without her heart pounding against her chest, making it impossible to find her voice. Finally she opened her mouth to speak, “I just…”
With unexpected speed, Alan reached towards her and grabbed her arms. He pulled at her and she fell against his chest with a gasp. As one hand slipped around her back, the other grasped and lifted her chin upwards and steadied it long enough for him to press his lips against hers.
Miki’s eyes squeezed shut as she pressed against his shoulders. She struggled to push him away, but he could feel her attempts quickly ease as their kiss deepened. Their mouths barely parted for gasping breaths. They clutched at one another so tightly their bodies shook and trembled. Soon, Alan was pulling Miki down to the cushion with him.
They seized one another in earnest. All tentativeness was quickly discarded. Jackets were tossed aside, shirts pulled off, shoes and pants kicked away in haste and desperation. In a matter of a minute, two nude bodies were quickly entwined, bare flesh against bare flesh, melting into one another.
Alan’s lips were all over Miki, on her face, her neck, her breasts, kissing, tasting, sucking. He held his hands at her smooth sides, feeling her curl and angle her body as he made his away down to her stomach. His tongue circled her belly button and felt her silky tummy twitch at his touch.
Miki shifted her hips and licked her lips as she felt his hands slide underneath her bum, giving her bottom a tight squeeze. She felt her hips and crotch raise slightly. Then her head arched back, her eyes blinking at the ceiling, her fingers spreading wide, as she felt Alan’s slick tongue drag roughly against her tender opening.
“Ohh,” she gasped.
Alan gently pried apart her soft folds of skin with his nose and tongue. He held her hips steady, as he indulged in the sweet warmth on the tip of his tongue. Miki was breathing hard, pulling at his hair, her body writhing from the delicious tingles pinching her from within.
“Oh, God, Alan. Uhh,” she gasped.
Alan was swollen rigid by the time Miki dragged him back upwards with a firm tug on his hair. He curled to his knees, raising her off the floor along with him, his hands at her back and bum. They kissed as Miki raised herself up above his hips. Alan positioned himself under her, feeling his tip pushing against her. They groaned in unison as he thrust into her.
Miki lowered her head onto his shoulder. She rolled her stomach and hips in a seductive flowing motion as she ground herself over him, driving him deeper into her. The run had exhausted her physically, but she needed this so much, wanted to reaffirm how she felt about Alan. Thoughts of still undisclosed secrets distracted her. She frowned, turned her head, and covered his mouth with a wet, reckless kiss. Her nails dug into the tight skin at his back.
Alan’s own heated thrusts and driven strokes were borne just as much from desperation as passion. He surged his hips upward, meeting her motions, trying to ingrain this feeling on his body and in his heart forever.
“Ahh, Miki,” he groaned. He looked at her with longing in his eyes. She was so radiant. He dragged his fingers down her bare back, slicked with perspiration. The cool air did little to squelch the heat their bodies were emanating.
Miki slipped her slender body off of him as Alan held her waist. He turned her around and lowered her onto her hands and knees, facing the wall of the shack. She braced one hand against the wall as she felt him move between her legs from behind. She closed her eyes, dipping her head slightly as she breathed quickly through her nose anticipating his thrust from behind.
Holding her waist, Alan rocked his hips forward, driving into her quickly.
“Ahh-uhn!” Miki cried out, her head snapping back.
Alan hit his stride quickly, pumping with stiff and sure motions, the heat and pressure around his swollen length spurring him on. His crotch slapped loudly against her exposed bottom, rocking her hard back and forth as Miki tried to steady herself, one hand pushing against the wall, the other gripping the cushion on the floor. Still, she was willing to take more from him, driven only by impulse.
They rolled onto the floor on their sides, Alan always staying in her from behind. He pulled her back close against his chest, his fingers rolling across her stiffened nipples and velvety belly. Miki craned her head upwards, as he leaned his face over her shoulder. As his motions quickened, his strokes shortening, they kissed like it was the last time they would do so, pulling and sucking in one another with their lips and tongues.
“Mmm! Ahh-ahh, Alan!” Miki gasped, still trying to meet his kiss. She felt the rush within her body, trying to hold it back but finally giving in. She cried out, “Ahhn!”
Alan felt her drench him. He slipped loudly into her over and over, draining every last bit of energy he could, before he strained and groaned, “Huhn! Ahh, Miki…I…huhn!”
He clutched at her breasts as his throbbing length released itself fully into her - a rich, slippery, warm stream seeping deeply inside of Miki. It felt like his abs were shredded, as he struggled to regain himself with loud, oxygen-sucking breaths.
Miki felt him nudge and twitch against her from behind, each hitch of his body pulsing more cum into her. She held onto his strong arms wrapped around her body, never wanting to let him go.
They fell silent but they didn’t sleep. Both of them stared across the floor. They had relieved their desperate passions, now a solemn dread filled the void. They both knew a price would have to be paid for this moment.
They stayed that way for nearly half an hour, without saying a word.
* * * * * * * * * * *
Sophia sat behind the wheel of her SUV, parked in the dark street. She drummed her fingers along the wheel, over and over, as she thought. She had been driving around town for the better part of the evening.
She was wondering how long that slut of a school teacher was going to make her wait.
This wasn’t something she could call on the warehouse boys to handle. Not that she wouldn’t have been able to find somebody who had a price for this sort of job. It was just that she learned over the years that the less people you involved with a plan, the less you had to worry about. Even Alan was a handful, on his own.
She clenched her fingers around the wheel. Besides, part of her was going to enjoy this.
Trying to find this woman was testing her patience, though. The lights had been out at her home, her car was on the driveway. She must have been on her nightly jog, somewhere.
She wasn’t at Alan’s. Then again, Alan wasn’t there, either. The two of them couldn’t have…?
Sophia closed her eyes, a sharp angled smile on her lips, as she slowly shook her head. Suddenly, she had a good idea where Miki could have been. Part of her kind of hoped that she was wrong. Then again, it had been a long night of driving around town. She needed to get this over with.
As she started her car and drove off, the first droplets of rain began to fall.
* * * * * * * * * *
Miki pulled on her pants and top as she sat on the edge of the cushion. Alan remained naked, his back to her, as he faced the back wall of the shack.
“Alan,” she started, speaking softly, “Is it true about Sophia paying off Dean’s mother for her to leave town? You asked her to do that?”
Alan stared at the pattern in the grain of the wood. He breathed, “Yeah.”
Miki focused her mind, as she tied her shoes. That seemed to explain his connection to Sophia. But his relationship with that conniving, vicious woman seemed to run deeper, like poison through the vein.
She chewed her lower lip then asked, “Who did the locket in your house belong to?”
The man traced his fingers along the wood, seeing images appear in the lines. He remained silent.
“I saw the initials,” she continued. “Did it belong to that school teacher who was killed in the train accident, years ago? Why would you have it?”
As he remained taciturn, his back still turned towards her, Miki felt herself growing more and more anxious. His mute reactions caused more questions to open up in her mind. She didn’t know where to begin.
“Why would Sophia know about it?” she spoke insistently. ‘Sophia’. Her name was an emotional trigger for Miki. She looked back at Alan, “Why does Sophia know so much about you? Dammit Alan, why is she so twisted up in your life? Please! Talk to me!”
Miki slapped the cushion and pushed his shoulder. Alan’s eyes penetrated through the wood, losing himself within the fibres. He firmed his jaw, sealing his lips tight.
The woman was shaking now, her eyes watering. She cried, “Why did she know about us when we were… when we were here last week? Why did she have to know? God!”
He couldn’t hear her crying, he told himself. He was disconnected from her hurt. He had to let her go.
“Alan!” Miki called to him, begged to him. Why was he doing this to her? “Please don’t shut me out like this! I… I don’t know… how to feel about you anymore. For God‘s sake! Say something!”
There was a painful pause, only Miki’s uncontrolled sobs filling the small shack. Then, with a calm, unmoving voice, Alan said, “This meant nothing, Miki. This was just a game.”
Her face was red and frozen as she gazed at him. She shook her head. She knew he was lying, but the sting was still like a bat swung against her chest. She couldn’t breathe. Why was he lying to her like this, destroying her like this? She couldn’t take it anymore, not right now.
“A game?” she choked.
“Go home, Miki,” he said coldly.
Alan never took his eyes away from the wall, as he heard her get up and run out of the shack.
* * * * * * * * *
17 years ago
Alan followed Ms. Jennings and the man she was with, as they left the Hobo Hut and made their way through the woods to the road. He had a secure grip around the length of pipe in his hands.
He could have done it there in the woods, or when the two of them were lying together in the shack, but even with the anger he felt seething within, he still had to reconcile with the idea of crushing in Ms. Jennings’ head in with the pipe.
She had betrayed him completely. Everyone was special to her, but not as special as this man she had just screwed, like a slut in a dirty shack. All it took was for the guy to buy her some cheap, department store necklace and pendant.
Alan could have done that. If he really tried, he could have come up with a way to get her into that shack with him.
But he didn’t want her, anymore. Why did she have to do this to him?
Alan leaned up against a tree, trying to steady himself, sort out the agonizing confusion pounding in his skull. He failed to catch a few tears that rolled from his eyes. He sniffed them back then steeled his jaw. He wouldn’t cry for this woman, again.
They were already walking along the road by the time he started to follow them, again. They were ahead of him by a good length, but it wasn’t a distance he couldn’t recover. It was overcast that night, very dark on the road, and the two of them were so involved with one another as they walked. So lost in each other, they weren’t aware at all when Alan moved up quickly behind them, raising the pipe over his head.
Then he stopped, a cold wave rushing through him, suddenly. With the pipe held high, he stood there, in a stupor. A loud flood of questions swept through his head. What was he doing? What was he going to do?
Was his life so worthless? Was he really that screwed up?
Slowly he lowered the pipe. Ms. Jennings and her partner were still unaware that he was behind them.
In fact, they and Alan were so distracted and lost in thought, they never even noticed the big blue sedan as it sped past Alan, headlights off, and swept along the side of the road. It ploughed through the fixated couple with a loud, sickening “WHUMP!”
Alan dropped the pipe, his eyes wide. He watched it happen in slow-motion, as the slender body of Ms. Jennings, in her pretty dress, flew silently through the air and fell, in a crumpled heap, in an embankment, metres away from the side of the road. The man was mowed down under the chassis of the car and spat out from the back, like used chewing gum.
The car screeched to a halt.
Alan remained motionless, his face blank, as he watched the driver get out - a tall woman - and walk unsteadily towards the torn up man on the road. He could hear her distraught sobs from where he stood.
“You bastard!” she screeched at the unresponsive heap on the ground. “You fucking bastard! You screwed her?!”
She collapsed to her knees by the body, slapping the mangled mess with loose fists. “You fucking screwed her! Fucking bastard!” she wailed over and over.
In a daze, Alan shambled off the road and made his way over to the body of Ms. Jennings. He stood over her. Her normally graceful and lithe frame was twisted and bloodied, as she lay on the ground. Her soft, caring eyes were wide open, seeing nothing, looking up at Alan as if to ask, “Why?” in her moment of happiness… “Why?”
He had an answer for her, but he didn’t say it.
An odd calmness settled over him, within him, as he stared at the still figure of his former teacher, his former obsession. He was free of that, now. He reached down, and snapped the pendant off from around her cold neck with a sharp tug. Then he made his way to the woman, bawling on the side of the road.
He crouched beside her, the scent of juniper and violet instantly wafting through his nose. “Are you alright?” he asked.
The woman, probably in her 20’s, with long blonde hair, looked up at him. Her face was puffy and damp from the tears, but she still had pointed facial features, like a sly fox. She gazed at him, this calm young man, as he asked her if she was okay.
“I…I…,” she croaked as she looked back at the body. Her body quivering, she shook her head and gasped, “Oh, my God… what have I done?”
The reality of her actions sank in, as she woke up to her nightmare. Two people… dead. She had killed them. She covered her face and sobbed.
Alan stood up and looked around. Then he bent down, and lifted the broken body on the road.
“Wh-what are you doing?” the woman asked looking up at him.
Alan was dragging the man off to the side of the road and up the embankment.
“We put them on the train tracks,” he said. “The freight train comes at 2:15 a.m. each night. We put them by the turn; it won’t have time to slow down. They shouldn’t be able to tell that they got hit by a car.”
It would be a long shot, he knew, but for some reason, he wanted to try to help this woman.
She held her palm to her mouth, sniffling. She blinked and frowned at the young man pulling the body up to the tracks. How could he explain his plan so calmly like that? He was a complete stranger, yet he was helping her like no other person had done before.
Sitting on the hard pavement for a few minutes more, Sophia finally got up and went to help Alan move the bodies.
Afterwards, Alan opened up the driver’s door of her car. She waited for him to come up with his next idea.
Alan looked back, through the woods, towards his pond.
“I know where to hide the car,” he said.
Without another word, the two of them got in and drove away.
* * * * * * * * * *
Alan lay alone in the shack. Miki’s open sobs had quickly faded into the trees as she ran further away from him. They were replaced by the sounds of a light rain starting to fall, crackling on the roof and on the ground outside.
He wanted to tell her… everything. She deserved to know. Instead, he paid back her love and concern with cruel silence. Yet, even knowing how much he had stomped on her heart just now, if he had to go back and do it again, he would.
“I’m sorry, Miki,” he said softly.
What price would she end up paying for his moment of penance, he thought. He didn’t want her to forgive him. His past actions were unforgivable, and he couldn’t stand to think that she would compromise her beliefs by ignoring what he did. Yet, he also wasn’t sure what to do if she turned him in.
If she knew everything, then she had no other choice, but to think that what happened between them was all an act, a twisted game of seduction and obsession from an emotionally crippled man. No matter how much he believed that to be no longer the case, there was no way to convince her of that. She had poured so much into him, had given herself over so trustingly, she would be ruined if she felt it was all a lie.
Those were scars he couldn’t bear to see inflicted on this woman.
The rain started to fall more steadily. It was going to be very cold outside.
He rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling. There was one more factor in this whole, sordid equation: Sophia.
Alan closed his eyes. For several long minutes he tried to find some peace within, stopping himself while the world continued to spin through its course. In his mind’s eye, all he saw was the caring, passionate face of Miki looking back asking, “Why?”
Alan opened his eyes and stood, gathering his clothes from the floor.
He would make sure she would never have to ask that question again.
* * * * * * * * * *
Miki’s tears were lost in the rain that streamed down her face. She was on the road, having worked her way almost blindly through the woods, but she still felt aimless. Her legs had little energy left in them and her heart weighed her down like an anchor. She was shivering, but she didn’t care. It would take her a long time to get home at this pace. She figured every step further away from that shack would be a relief.
“Alan,” she sobbed quietly, her voice lost in the patter of the rain around her.
Drowning in her thoughts, she stumbled forward through the rain, drawn to the dark road ahead.
* * * * * * * * * *
Alan drove up from the trail and turned down the road, his windshield wipers sliding side to side. He leaned close to the wheel, looking intently down the road. She couldn’t have gone very far.
He had no idea what to say to her. He wasn’t even sure if she would get into the truck with him. Yet he had to do something.
Within a few minutes, his headlights caught sight of a solitary traveler walking on the road ahead. He felt the relief in his heart. It immediately gave way to sudden dread.
It was more of a sixth sense that drew his attention to the dark outline of a large SUV barreling towards the distracted woman, its headlights dimmed. Everything came together so quickly in his head. Reacting without thought, he blasted his horn and slammed down on the accelerator.
Miki had been staring at the road as she walked slowly along, not bothering to wipe the rain that fell over her eyes. Though it was actually mere micro-seconds, everything seemed to register so slowly, from the moment she saw the white light envelope her from behind, to the sound of a horn, to her spinning around to face an oncoming truck. She threw herself off to the side, realizing in that split second that the truck had swerved to avoid her. Even before her body hit the wet ground, she heard the brutal, sickening crash.
Two vehicles, a large SUV and the pickup truck, collided head-on with an agonizingly twisting, rending cacophony of metal carnage. They tore into each other, melded into one another, glass and steel shredding through the air in the violent confrontation, neither vehicle giving an inch to the other.
Miki remained curled up for a moment in the cool grass, her arms covering her head. Her heart could barely find a steady beat. Finally, slowly, she opened her eyes, blinking as the rain bounced off her cheeks. After the instant of chaotic destruction, it was suddenly, eerily quiet, except for the rain and some hissing sounds coming from the dying vehicles. Her eyes widened when she saw the carnage. It was like two pop cans crushed together - impossible to tell where the first one ended and the next one began.
Miki stumbled closer, her head and vision clearing. Then she felt her heart sink down into her gut and she covered her mouth, catching a sharp gasp. She recognized the pickup truck.
“Alan!” she screamed.
Miki ran to the driver’s side of the truck, its front end crushed in more than halfway to the cab. The door had popped open, hanging off its hinges. Alan’s chest was wrapped over the wheel, his head hanging listlessly.
“Oh, my God! Alan,” Miki whimpered as she pulled at his wrecked body. She looked over to the driver of the SUV. Sophia Locke’s head and upper body had gone through the windshield, resting on the crumpled front ends of the two vehicles. Her gold-spun, long hair and face were matted with dark ooze trickling from her scalp, nose and mouth. Her sharp features were battered and puffy. And her green eyes, open but doused of their spiteful flame, seemed to stare at Miki, asking her a question for which she had no answer.
Miki continued to pull at Alan. She heard him gurgle a moan as blood spilled from the sides of his mouth. Miki screamed through clenched teeth as she tugged his body out of the truck and the two of them tumbled back onto the wet roadside. Miki pulled herself to her knees and lifted Alan’s head onto her lap. She cradled him, wiping the blood off of his face with her hands, even as more seeped out and mingled with the rain falling on him.
“Oh, God, Alan. No… no,” she called to him. “Please, God! Just… please… help will be here. Hang on, okay? Just please, don’t die.”
Alan’s blue eyes opened slightly, wearily. He felt a chill creeping up through his body, moving from his feet to his legs and upward. He was so tired. He needed to sleep.
“Alan,” a gentle voice echoed through his head.
He thought of Ms. Jennings, of how much passion and confusion she had instilled in him. He wished he had been old enough to understand the feelings she had made him experience.
He thought of Sophia, of how they both had their freedom, now. There was no longer any need for planning or making dark, secretive deals. He wondered where he would run into her in Hell.
He thought of Dean, his quirky but gentle-hearted kid, who deserved more than a father like him could provide. He would be fine. His aunt would take care of him and would love him. Dean was a good son.
Alan felt the coolness claw its way up past his belly and chest. Before it reached his arms, he raised one hand, and brushed the cheek of the woman looking down at him. He swept away the damp hair that stuck to her face. She held his hand against her face. It was night, it was dark, but she glowed with a soothing radiance. Through the rain, he could still taste the salty tears that fell from her eyes onto his face. They felt warm.
“Miki,” he rasped.
The rest he sent to her in thought: I’m sorry for having hurt you so much. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you everything. I’m sorry for myself, that I couldn’t have been by your side longer. I wish I could touch you, hold you, make love to you again. You made me feel… normal.
Alan.” Her voice swirled in his head as the numbness made its way past his neck. He held onto her voice as long as he could, then he carried her away with him as his last thought.
“Alan!” Miki cried, the tears flowing freely now as she shook him. She pressed her face against his, as she rocked back and forth on her knees. “Oh, Alan.”
The chill from the rain and autumn air had settled in, for good.
* * * * * * * * * * *
8 weeks later…
Miki Yi raised her hands up to gain the attention of her grade 5 class. Once they settled down, she spoke, “We have someone special who has come by for a quick visit. One of your friends, and a former classmate.”
She beckoned towards the door. A boy with a round-ish face, blue eyes and curly hair walked in quietly and stood beside Miki at the front of the room.
“Would you like to say anything to the class, Dean?” she asked.
Dean blinked, then said softly, “Good-bye.”
There were some quiet snickers amongst the students but a few others smiled and said “good-bye” back to him. That was pretty much what Miki had expected.
“Before I forget,” she said as she walked over to the Miki Medal board. She removed one and came back to Dean. “Would you like to take this with you?”
Dean read it to himself: “Dean Rosetti: For Being a Good Son”.
Miki lead the class in a light applause.
She walked with Dean out of the room, and along the corridors of the school.
“Do you like living with your great aunt, Dean?” she asked.
He nodded.
“Maybe she could teach you how to make those amazing meatballs,” she said.
Miki smiled. It felt good to do so… for now, anyway. She still didn’t have enough pieces of the puzzle to figure out the past, and she knew she faced some tough problems with the school, and personal challenges in the coming months ahead. So she had to live for the present, and be satisfied with that.
She didn’t know why Alan had refused to tell her everything. Yet, something at the back of her mind told her that she felt, in some ways, protected by him. She may never know the entire truth, but she was able to take comfort with that thought.
Miki led Dean to the exit. They stood by the door, as an early light snowfall dusted the playground with a fresh, white powder. She knelt down and gave him a hug, feeling his gentle arms wrap around the back of her neck in return. As they parted, he took one last look at the locket-pendant around her neck, smiling as he thought of the picture of his father inside. Then he ran out into the schoolyard up to an elderly, kind-looking woman, who looked back at Miki and waved to her thoughtfully.
The young school teacher smiled and waved back. She watched them walk away.
“You be a good son, Dean,” she said softly as she placed her hand on her belly. “And one day soon, you’ll be a good brother.”
It was the same promise she made a week ago to Alan, wherever he was, as she stood alone in front of the old shack in the middle of the woods, where secrets were made, for good or bad, and never forgotten.
End
**Thank you very much for reading. -RTNorth**
Miki sat in her kitchen staring at the phone. She wanted to call Alan’s house, but had no idea what to say if he answered. Actually, at the moment, it wasn’t even Alan that she wanted to talk with. Sophia had gotten her so worked up in a blind rage that she stormed out of the house, leaving Dean alone with that bitch.
She held her breath, then finally picked up her phone and dialed. Each ring twisted the anxiety in her stomach tighter and tighter. She was actually thumbing the “end call” button in case Alan picked up.
“Hello?” a soft, small voice answered.
Miki exhaled, feeling relieved, “Hi Dean. It’s Miki…Ms. Yi. Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” the boy replied.
“I’m sorry I left like that, today,” she said. She hesitated then added, “That… person… Sophia… did she bother you?”
“No,” Dean said, “She just sat in the chair until dad got home. They got into a fight.”
Miki closed her eyes and shook her head. No, she didn’t want to think about what might have happened, what was said, and she didn’t want to ask the boy. She already regretted that he was there to experience it first-hand.
“Is…” the next question was the hardest for her, “Is your dad there?”
“No. He left right after she did.”
Miki leaned forward in her chair and continued to squeeze her eyes shut as she rubbed her temple. “Okay,” she said, “So you’re fine?”
“Uh-huh.”
She sighed, “Good. Have a good night, Dean. Sleep tight...”
“Ms. Yi?”
“Yes?”
There was a long pause on the other end. Then he said, “Nothing…it’s okay. Bye.”
Miki put down her phone. She stayed in her chair, feeling restless, thinking about what to do now. Speak to Alan, if she could find him? Confront Sophia and get her to tell her everything already, and then pull her blonde hair out by their roots?
She had broken pieces scattered in her head, but none of them seemed like they were even part of the same puzzle. She finally recollected that the initials S.J. may have stood for that teacher Sheryl Jennings, who got hit by the train along with her boyfriend 17 years ago. But why would Alan have her locket? He would have been a teenager, back then.
“Dammit Alan,” she winced. Every time she thought of him, she felt the strain on her heart. “What the hell is going on with you?”
A vicious emotional circle wracked her head. She realized now just how much she cared for him, because it hurt so much to feel betrayed like this.
Despite everything, she wanted to be with him, now more than ever.
Miki leaned back in her chair, rubbing her legs as she shook them up and down. This was no good. If she continued thinking about this all night, she’d go crazy. Her choices were either to go curl under her sheets and cry, or go burn off some anxiety with a hard run. She refused to cry. Through all of this, at least she hadn’t broken down.
She would find Alan and speak to him tomorrow.
Miki went to put on her jogging gear.
* * * * * * * * * *
It was an overcast night, making it even darker than usual, when Miki went for her nightly runs. Everything was cast in an eerie, greyish-blue hue. She ran hard through the darkness, just under a sprint, hoping her quick pace would burn away the distracting thoughts running through her head. However, as classical music played through her MP3 player, Miki still found her mind drifting while her body pushed itself harder and harder.
She ran across town, through empty roads, barely noticing the exertion she was putting on her heart, lungs, and legs. She wasn’t even aware of where her feet were taking her, only snapping out of her thoughts every so often, to realize she had made some arbitrary turn around a corner.
She was following the train tracks, now. Even in the dark, her eyes slowly began to register where she was and where she was headed. Starting to feel the strain on her body and the weight of thoughts in her mind, she slowed down and stopped at the side of the road. As she regained her breath, she stared into the woods.
Miki knew where she was now. She could make out the roughed out trail she and Alan had driven his truck along that night. Her breaths steadying, Miki reached into her pocket and pulled out a small key-chain flashlight. The light from it stretched out barely six feet ahead of her, but she followed it anyway, as she walked off the side of the road and into the woods.
* * * * * * * * *
Alan sat inside the shack, the glow of the lantern filling the small interior. He was somewhat calmer, now. He sat on the laid out cushion, brushing it lightly with his fingers as he recalled that night just a week ago. That night was the culmination of his seduction of Miki, but it became something more, his feelings for her changing even as before he reached his intense climax. She was so giving, so willing.
It was a brutal thought, realizing he would likely never have that chance to be with her that way again.
“Alan?” a soft voice called to him from outside the shack.
He looked up, stunned, not sure of what he was hearing.
“Are you in there?” Miki’s soothing voice asked, “I saw your truck out by the clearing.”
Even before he could stand up straight, Miki was at the doorway looking back at him. He could see the anxiety in her gentle features, the nervousness. It was taking everything she had for her to do this, to approach him like this. She was hurting. He wanted so badly to ease that pain.
Miki’s eyes glanced around the shack. She saw the broken glass from the windows of the floor; she probably noticed the torn pieces of siding outside. She knew Alan had been in a bad way a short time ago. Yet that still didn’t stop her as she stepped into the shack and stood quietly. He could see her mouth open and close as she tried to think of what to say. Maybe she was hoping he would start, but he had no words to offer. He didn’t have need for words right now. What he needed, was Miki. He closed his eyes and settled his mind.
Miki’s eyes had drifted to the floor. She was having trouble looking at the man directly without her heart pounding against her chest, making it impossible to find her voice. Finally she opened her mouth to speak, “I just…”
With unexpected speed, Alan reached towards her and grabbed her arms. He pulled at her and she fell against his chest with a gasp. As one hand slipped around her back, the other grasped and lifted her chin upwards and steadied it long enough for him to press his lips against hers.
Miki’s eyes squeezed shut as she pressed against his shoulders. She struggled to push him away, but he could feel her attempts quickly ease as their kiss deepened. Their mouths barely parted for gasping breaths. They clutched at one another so tightly their bodies shook and trembled. Soon, Alan was pulling Miki down to the cushion with him.
They seized one another in earnest. All tentativeness was quickly discarded. Jackets were tossed aside, shirts pulled off, shoes and pants kicked away in haste and desperation. In a matter of a minute, two nude bodies were quickly entwined, bare flesh against bare flesh, melting into one another.
Alan’s lips were all over Miki, on her face, her neck, her breasts, kissing, tasting, sucking. He held his hands at her smooth sides, feeling her curl and angle her body as he made his away down to her stomach. His tongue circled her belly button and felt her silky tummy twitch at his touch.
Miki shifted her hips and licked her lips as she felt his hands slide underneath her bum, giving her bottom a tight squeeze. She felt her hips and crotch raise slightly. Then her head arched back, her eyes blinking at the ceiling, her fingers spreading wide, as she felt Alan’s slick tongue drag roughly against her tender opening.
“Ohh,” she gasped.
Alan gently pried apart her soft folds of skin with his nose and tongue. He held her hips steady, as he indulged in the sweet warmth on the tip of his tongue. Miki was breathing hard, pulling at his hair, her body writhing from the delicious tingles pinching her from within.
“Oh, God, Alan. Uhh,” she gasped.
Alan was swollen rigid by the time Miki dragged him back upwards with a firm tug on his hair. He curled to his knees, raising her off the floor along with him, his hands at her back and bum. They kissed as Miki raised herself up above his hips. Alan positioned himself under her, feeling his tip pushing against her. They groaned in unison as he thrust into her.
Miki lowered her head onto his shoulder. She rolled her stomach and hips in a seductive flowing motion as she ground herself over him, driving him deeper into her. The run had exhausted her physically, but she needed this so much, wanted to reaffirm how she felt about Alan. Thoughts of still undisclosed secrets distracted her. She frowned, turned her head, and covered his mouth with a wet, reckless kiss. Her nails dug into the tight skin at his back.
Alan’s own heated thrusts and driven strokes were borne just as much from desperation as passion. He surged his hips upward, meeting her motions, trying to ingrain this feeling on his body and in his heart forever.
“Ahh, Miki,” he groaned. He looked at her with longing in his eyes. She was so radiant. He dragged his fingers down her bare back, slicked with perspiration. The cool air did little to squelch the heat their bodies were emanating.
Miki slipped her slender body off of him as Alan held her waist. He turned her around and lowered her onto her hands and knees, facing the wall of the shack. She braced one hand against the wall as she felt him move between her legs from behind. She closed her eyes, dipping her head slightly as she breathed quickly through her nose anticipating his thrust from behind.
Holding her waist, Alan rocked his hips forward, driving into her quickly.
“Ahh-uhn!” Miki cried out, her head snapping back.
Alan hit his stride quickly, pumping with stiff and sure motions, the heat and pressure around his swollen length spurring him on. His crotch slapped loudly against her exposed bottom, rocking her hard back and forth as Miki tried to steady herself, one hand pushing against the wall, the other gripping the cushion on the floor. Still, she was willing to take more from him, driven only by impulse.
They rolled onto the floor on their sides, Alan always staying in her from behind. He pulled her back close against his chest, his fingers rolling across her stiffened nipples and velvety belly. Miki craned her head upwards, as he leaned his face over her shoulder. As his motions quickened, his strokes shortening, they kissed like it was the last time they would do so, pulling and sucking in one another with their lips and tongues.
“Mmm! Ahh-ahh, Alan!” Miki gasped, still trying to meet his kiss. She felt the rush within her body, trying to hold it back but finally giving in. She cried out, “Ahhn!”
Alan felt her drench him. He slipped loudly into her over and over, draining every last bit of energy he could, before he strained and groaned, “Huhn! Ahh, Miki…I…huhn!”
He clutched at her breasts as his throbbing length released itself fully into her - a rich, slippery, warm stream seeping deeply inside of Miki. It felt like his abs were shredded, as he struggled to regain himself with loud, oxygen-sucking breaths.
Miki felt him nudge and twitch against her from behind, each hitch of his body pulsing more cum into her. She held onto his strong arms wrapped around her body, never wanting to let him go.
They fell silent but they didn’t sleep. Both of them stared across the floor. They had relieved their desperate passions, now a solemn dread filled the void. They both knew a price would have to be paid for this moment.
They stayed that way for nearly half an hour, without saying a word.
* * * * * * * * * * *
Sophia sat behind the wheel of her SUV, parked in the dark street. She drummed her fingers along the wheel, over and over, as she thought. She had been driving around town for the better part of the evening.
She was wondering how long that slut of a school teacher was going to make her wait.
This wasn’t something she could call on the warehouse boys to handle. Not that she wouldn’t have been able to find somebody who had a price for this sort of job. It was just that she learned over the years that the less people you involved with a plan, the less you had to worry about. Even Alan was a handful, on his own.
She clenched her fingers around the wheel. Besides, part of her was going to enjoy this.
Trying to find this woman was testing her patience, though. The lights had been out at her home, her car was on the driveway. She must have been on her nightly jog, somewhere.
She wasn’t at Alan’s. Then again, Alan wasn’t there, either. The two of them couldn’t have…?
Sophia closed her eyes, a sharp angled smile on her lips, as she slowly shook her head. Suddenly, she had a good idea where Miki could have been. Part of her kind of hoped that she was wrong. Then again, it had been a long night of driving around town. She needed to get this over with.
As she started her car and drove off, the first droplets of rain began to fall.
* * * * * * * * * *
Miki pulled on her pants and top as she sat on the edge of the cushion. Alan remained naked, his back to her, as he faced the back wall of the shack.
“Alan,” she started, speaking softly, “Is it true about Sophia paying off Dean’s mother for her to leave town? You asked her to do that?”
Alan stared at the pattern in the grain of the wood. He breathed, “Yeah.”
Miki focused her mind, as she tied her shoes. That seemed to explain his connection to Sophia. But his relationship with that conniving, vicious woman seemed to run deeper, like poison through the vein.
She chewed her lower lip then asked, “Who did the locket in your house belong to?”
The man traced his fingers along the wood, seeing images appear in the lines. He remained silent.
“I saw the initials,” she continued. “Did it belong to that school teacher who was killed in the train accident, years ago? Why would you have it?”
As he remained taciturn, his back still turned towards her, Miki felt herself growing more and more anxious. His mute reactions caused more questions to open up in her mind. She didn’t know where to begin.
“Why would Sophia know about it?” she spoke insistently. ‘Sophia’. Her name was an emotional trigger for Miki. She looked back at Alan, “Why does Sophia know so much about you? Dammit Alan, why is she so twisted up in your life? Please! Talk to me!”
Miki slapped the cushion and pushed his shoulder. Alan’s eyes penetrated through the wood, losing himself within the fibres. He firmed his jaw, sealing his lips tight.
The woman was shaking now, her eyes watering. She cried, “Why did she know about us when we were… when we were here last week? Why did she have to know? God!”
He couldn’t hear her crying, he told himself. He was disconnected from her hurt. He had to let her go.
“Alan!” Miki called to him, begged to him. Why was he doing this to her? “Please don’t shut me out like this! I… I don’t know… how to feel about you anymore. For God‘s sake! Say something!”
There was a painful pause, only Miki’s uncontrolled sobs filling the small shack. Then, with a calm, unmoving voice, Alan said, “This meant nothing, Miki. This was just a game.”
Her face was red and frozen as she gazed at him. She shook her head. She knew he was lying, but the sting was still like a bat swung against her chest. She couldn’t breathe. Why was he lying to her like this, destroying her like this? She couldn’t take it anymore, not right now.
“A game?” she choked.
“Go home, Miki,” he said coldly.
Alan never took his eyes away from the wall, as he heard her get up and run out of the shack.
* * * * * * * * *
17 years ago
Alan followed Ms. Jennings and the man she was with, as they left the Hobo Hut and made their way through the woods to the road. He had a secure grip around the length of pipe in his hands.
He could have done it there in the woods, or when the two of them were lying together in the shack, but even with the anger he felt seething within, he still had to reconcile with the idea of crushing in Ms. Jennings’ head in with the pipe.
She had betrayed him completely. Everyone was special to her, but not as special as this man she had just screwed, like a slut in a dirty shack. All it took was for the guy to buy her some cheap, department store necklace and pendant.
Alan could have done that. If he really tried, he could have come up with a way to get her into that shack with him.
But he didn’t want her, anymore. Why did she have to do this to him?
Alan leaned up against a tree, trying to steady himself, sort out the agonizing confusion pounding in his skull. He failed to catch a few tears that rolled from his eyes. He sniffed them back then steeled his jaw. He wouldn’t cry for this woman, again.
They were already walking along the road by the time he started to follow them, again. They were ahead of him by a good length, but it wasn’t a distance he couldn’t recover. It was overcast that night, very dark on the road, and the two of them were so involved with one another as they walked. So lost in each other, they weren’t aware at all when Alan moved up quickly behind them, raising the pipe over his head.
Then he stopped, a cold wave rushing through him, suddenly. With the pipe held high, he stood there, in a stupor. A loud flood of questions swept through his head. What was he doing? What was he going to do?
Was his life so worthless? Was he really that screwed up?
Slowly he lowered the pipe. Ms. Jennings and her partner were still unaware that he was behind them.
In fact, they and Alan were so distracted and lost in thought, they never even noticed the big blue sedan as it sped past Alan, headlights off, and swept along the side of the road. It ploughed through the fixated couple with a loud, sickening “WHUMP!”
Alan dropped the pipe, his eyes wide. He watched it happen in slow-motion, as the slender body of Ms. Jennings, in her pretty dress, flew silently through the air and fell, in a crumpled heap, in an embankment, metres away from the side of the road. The man was mowed down under the chassis of the car and spat out from the back, like used chewing gum.
The car screeched to a halt.
Alan remained motionless, his face blank, as he watched the driver get out - a tall woman - and walk unsteadily towards the torn up man on the road. He could hear her distraught sobs from where he stood.
“You bastard!” she screeched at the unresponsive heap on the ground. “You fucking bastard! You screwed her?!”
She collapsed to her knees by the body, slapping the mangled mess with loose fists. “You fucking screwed her! Fucking bastard!” she wailed over and over.
In a daze, Alan shambled off the road and made his way over to the body of Ms. Jennings. He stood over her. Her normally graceful and lithe frame was twisted and bloodied, as she lay on the ground. Her soft, caring eyes were wide open, seeing nothing, looking up at Alan as if to ask, “Why?” in her moment of happiness… “Why?”
He had an answer for her, but he didn’t say it.
An odd calmness settled over him, within him, as he stared at the still figure of his former teacher, his former obsession. He was free of that, now. He reached down, and snapped the pendant off from around her cold neck with a sharp tug. Then he made his way to the woman, bawling on the side of the road.
He crouched beside her, the scent of juniper and violet instantly wafting through his nose. “Are you alright?” he asked.
The woman, probably in her 20’s, with long blonde hair, looked up at him. Her face was puffy and damp from the tears, but she still had pointed facial features, like a sly fox. She gazed at him, this calm young man, as he asked her if she was okay.
“I…I…,” she croaked as she looked back at the body. Her body quivering, she shook her head and gasped, “Oh, my God… what have I done?”
The reality of her actions sank in, as she woke up to her nightmare. Two people… dead. She had killed them. She covered her face and sobbed.
Alan stood up and looked around. Then he bent down, and lifted the broken body on the road.
“Wh-what are you doing?” the woman asked looking up at him.
Alan was dragging the man off to the side of the road and up the embankment.
“We put them on the train tracks,” he said. “The freight train comes at 2:15 a.m. each night. We put them by the turn; it won’t have time to slow down. They shouldn’t be able to tell that they got hit by a car.”
It would be a long shot, he knew, but for some reason, he wanted to try to help this woman.
She held her palm to her mouth, sniffling. She blinked and frowned at the young man pulling the body up to the tracks. How could he explain his plan so calmly like that? He was a complete stranger, yet he was helping her like no other person had done before.
Sitting on the hard pavement for a few minutes more, Sophia finally got up and went to help Alan move the bodies.
Afterwards, Alan opened up the driver’s door of her car. She waited for him to come up with his next idea.
Alan looked back, through the woods, towards his pond.
“I know where to hide the car,” he said.
Without another word, the two of them got in and drove away.
* * * * * * * * * *
Alan lay alone in the shack. Miki’s open sobs had quickly faded into the trees as she ran further away from him. They were replaced by the sounds of a light rain starting to fall, crackling on the roof and on the ground outside.
He wanted to tell her… everything. She deserved to know. Instead, he paid back her love and concern with cruel silence. Yet, even knowing how much he had stomped on her heart just now, if he had to go back and do it again, he would.
“I’m sorry, Miki,” he said softly.
What price would she end up paying for his moment of penance, he thought. He didn’t want her to forgive him. His past actions were unforgivable, and he couldn’t stand to think that she would compromise her beliefs by ignoring what he did. Yet, he also wasn’t sure what to do if she turned him in.
If she knew everything, then she had no other choice, but to think that what happened between them was all an act, a twisted game of seduction and obsession from an emotionally crippled man. No matter how much he believed that to be no longer the case, there was no way to convince her of that. She had poured so much into him, had given herself over so trustingly, she would be ruined if she felt it was all a lie.
Those were scars he couldn’t bear to see inflicted on this woman.
The rain started to fall more steadily. It was going to be very cold outside.
He rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling. There was one more factor in this whole, sordid equation: Sophia.
Alan closed his eyes. For several long minutes he tried to find some peace within, stopping himself while the world continued to spin through its course. In his mind’s eye, all he saw was the caring, passionate face of Miki looking back asking, “Why?”
Alan opened his eyes and stood, gathering his clothes from the floor.
He would make sure she would never have to ask that question again.
* * * * * * * * * *
Miki’s tears were lost in the rain that streamed down her face. She was on the road, having worked her way almost blindly through the woods, but she still felt aimless. Her legs had little energy left in them and her heart weighed her down like an anchor. She was shivering, but she didn’t care. It would take her a long time to get home at this pace. She figured every step further away from that shack would be a relief.
“Alan,” she sobbed quietly, her voice lost in the patter of the rain around her.
Drowning in her thoughts, she stumbled forward through the rain, drawn to the dark road ahead.
* * * * * * * * * *
Alan drove up from the trail and turned down the road, his windshield wipers sliding side to side. He leaned close to the wheel, looking intently down the road. She couldn’t have gone very far.
He had no idea what to say to her. He wasn’t even sure if she would get into the truck with him. Yet he had to do something.
Within a few minutes, his headlights caught sight of a solitary traveler walking on the road ahead. He felt the relief in his heart. It immediately gave way to sudden dread.
It was more of a sixth sense that drew his attention to the dark outline of a large SUV barreling towards the distracted woman, its headlights dimmed. Everything came together so quickly in his head. Reacting without thought, he blasted his horn and slammed down on the accelerator.
Miki had been staring at the road as she walked slowly along, not bothering to wipe the rain that fell over her eyes. Though it was actually mere micro-seconds, everything seemed to register so slowly, from the moment she saw the white light envelope her from behind, to the sound of a horn, to her spinning around to face an oncoming truck. She threw herself off to the side, realizing in that split second that the truck had swerved to avoid her. Even before her body hit the wet ground, she heard the brutal, sickening crash.
Two vehicles, a large SUV and the pickup truck, collided head-on with an agonizingly twisting, rending cacophony of metal carnage. They tore into each other, melded into one another, glass and steel shredding through the air in the violent confrontation, neither vehicle giving an inch to the other.
Miki remained curled up for a moment in the cool grass, her arms covering her head. Her heart could barely find a steady beat. Finally, slowly, she opened her eyes, blinking as the rain bounced off her cheeks. After the instant of chaotic destruction, it was suddenly, eerily quiet, except for the rain and some hissing sounds coming from the dying vehicles. Her eyes widened when she saw the carnage. It was like two pop cans crushed together - impossible to tell where the first one ended and the next one began.
Miki stumbled closer, her head and vision clearing. Then she felt her heart sink down into her gut and she covered her mouth, catching a sharp gasp. She recognized the pickup truck.
“Alan!” she screamed.
Miki ran to the driver’s side of the truck, its front end crushed in more than halfway to the cab. The door had popped open, hanging off its hinges. Alan’s chest was wrapped over the wheel, his head hanging listlessly.
“Oh, my God! Alan,” Miki whimpered as she pulled at his wrecked body. She looked over to the driver of the SUV. Sophia Locke’s head and upper body had gone through the windshield, resting on the crumpled front ends of the two vehicles. Her gold-spun, long hair and face were matted with dark ooze trickling from her scalp, nose and mouth. Her sharp features were battered and puffy. And her green eyes, open but doused of their spiteful flame, seemed to stare at Miki, asking her a question for which she had no answer.
Miki continued to pull at Alan. She heard him gurgle a moan as blood spilled from the sides of his mouth. Miki screamed through clenched teeth as she tugged his body out of the truck and the two of them tumbled back onto the wet roadside. Miki pulled herself to her knees and lifted Alan’s head onto her lap. She cradled him, wiping the blood off of his face with her hands, even as more seeped out and mingled with the rain falling on him.
“Oh, God, Alan. No… no,” she called to him. “Please, God! Just… please… help will be here. Hang on, okay? Just please, don’t die.”
Alan’s blue eyes opened slightly, wearily. He felt a chill creeping up through his body, moving from his feet to his legs and upward. He was so tired. He needed to sleep.
“Alan,” a gentle voice echoed through his head.
He thought of Ms. Jennings, of how much passion and confusion she had instilled in him. He wished he had been old enough to understand the feelings she had made him experience.
He thought of Sophia, of how they both had their freedom, now. There was no longer any need for planning or making dark, secretive deals. He wondered where he would run into her in Hell.
He thought of Dean, his quirky but gentle-hearted kid, who deserved more than a father like him could provide. He would be fine. His aunt would take care of him and would love him. Dean was a good son.
Alan felt the coolness claw its way up past his belly and chest. Before it reached his arms, he raised one hand, and brushed the cheek of the woman looking down at him. He swept away the damp hair that stuck to her face. She held his hand against her face. It was night, it was dark, but she glowed with a soothing radiance. Through the rain, he could still taste the salty tears that fell from her eyes onto his face. They felt warm.
“Miki,” he rasped.
The rest he sent to her in thought: I’m sorry for having hurt you so much. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you everything. I’m sorry for myself, that I couldn’t have been by your side longer. I wish I could touch you, hold you, make love to you again. You made me feel… normal.
Alan.” Her voice swirled in his head as the numbness made its way past his neck. He held onto her voice as long as he could, then he carried her away with him as his last thought.
“Alan!” Miki cried, the tears flowing freely now as she shook him. She pressed her face against his, as she rocked back and forth on her knees. “Oh, Alan.”
The chill from the rain and autumn air had settled in, for good.
* * * * * * * * * * *
8 weeks later…
Miki Yi raised her hands up to gain the attention of her grade 5 class. Once they settled down, she spoke, “We have someone special who has come by for a quick visit. One of your friends, and a former classmate.”
She beckoned towards the door. A boy with a round-ish face, blue eyes and curly hair walked in quietly and stood beside Miki at the front of the room.
“Would you like to say anything to the class, Dean?” she asked.
Dean blinked, then said softly, “Good-bye.”
There were some quiet snickers amongst the students but a few others smiled and said “good-bye” back to him. That was pretty much what Miki had expected.
“Before I forget,” she said as she walked over to the Miki Medal board. She removed one and came back to Dean. “Would you like to take this with you?”
Dean read it to himself: “Dean Rosetti: For Being a Good Son”.
Miki lead the class in a light applause.
She walked with Dean out of the room, and along the corridors of the school.
“Do you like living with your great aunt, Dean?” she asked.
He nodded.
“Maybe she could teach you how to make those amazing meatballs,” she said.
Miki smiled. It felt good to do so… for now, anyway. She still didn’t have enough pieces of the puzzle to figure out the past, and she knew she faced some tough problems with the school, and personal challenges in the coming months ahead. So she had to live for the present, and be satisfied with that.
She didn’t know why Alan had refused to tell her everything. Yet, something at the back of her mind told her that she felt, in some ways, protected by him. She may never know the entire truth, but she was able to take comfort with that thought.
Miki led Dean to the exit. They stood by the door, as an early light snowfall dusted the playground with a fresh, white powder. She knelt down and gave him a hug, feeling his gentle arms wrap around the back of her neck in return. As they parted, he took one last look at the locket-pendant around her neck, smiling as he thought of the picture of his father inside. Then he ran out into the schoolyard up to an elderly, kind-looking woman, who looked back at Miki and waved to her thoughtfully.
The young school teacher smiled and waved back. She watched them walk away.
“You be a good son, Dean,” she said softly as she placed her hand on her belly. “And one day soon, you’ll be a good brother.”
It was the same promise she made a week ago to Alan, wherever he was, as she stood alone in front of the old shack in the middle of the woods, where secrets were made, for good or bad, and never forgotten.
End
**Thank you very much for reading. -RTNorth**
