This story only available on Stories Space. If you are reading it elsewhere, it has been stolen.

Once upon a time, the Princess of Black Onyx Tower and the Little Fat Fairy decided to go for a walk.

"Where shall we go?" asked the Little Fat Fairy.

"Let us go along the Porridge Estuary, towards the village of Abbots Bourbon," replied the Princess.

And so, the Princess of Black Onyx Tower and the Little Fat Fairy began walking. The Princess carried her handbag, and the Little Fat Fairy carried her enormous rainbow umbrella. It never rained when she took it, and she wanted to make sure the weather would stay dry.

The Princess and the Little Fat Fairy wandered out of the Black Onyx Tower, through the higgledy-piggledy streets of Shedclip town, and into the lush, green Stone Gardens, alongside the Porridge Estuary.

"What a beautiful evening," said the Princess, walking gracefully in the sunshine as the breeze blew coolly over her slender figure.

"Yeah, it's a right lovely evening, innit?" puffed the Little Fat Fairy, as the wind buffeted against her round little ball of a body.

The Princess of Black Onyx Tower and the Little Fat Fairy were very good friends, but they looked completely different. They both loved sewing and thought trumping was very funny, but the Princess was stylish, slim and pretty, whilst the Little Fat Fairy was scruffy, dumpy, and potatoey. Nevertheless, they enjoyed each others' company, and giggled along merrily whenever they saw each other.

They very much enjoyed their walk, despite having to squeeze into the brambley hedgerows every time a dandelion wheeler came whizzing down the path from Somewhere, and having to wrestle with the grumpy hawthorn trees whenever the acorn skaters zoomed around the corner from Nowhere, forcing them out of the way.

Untangling herself for the fourth time from a clump of indignant, sniffy ferns, the Princess sighed. Whilst they had been walking, she had been thinking about needing to do something for a long while, and she couldn't hold it any longer.

"It's no good, Little Fat Fairy," she said. "I really have to go for a wee."

"Right now?" asked the Little Fat Fairy.

"Not right this second, but very soon," replied the Princess, walking faster.

The Little Fat Fairy had to run to keep up with the Princess's longer, need-to-wee-wiggling stride.

"Now you mention it," gasped the Little Fat Fairy, "I need a wee too. But there aren't any toilets around here. Not even a tavern!"

"I know a place we can go," the Princess told her, need-to-wee-wiggle-walking even faster.

And the Princess of Black Onyx Tower and the Little Fat Fairy need-to-wee-wiggle-walked quickly, along the Porridge Path, up the Waggle Wood road, until finally, they reached Thistle Down, a hillside going down into the bottom of the valley.

"Here we are," said the Princess, stopping by a very high, wobbly gate set into a hedge of dense brambles and nettles. "Would you mind holding my handbag whilst I go for a wee?"

"I wouldn't mind at all, but please be quick, because I'd really like to go too," replied the Little Fat Fairy.

And so, the Princess handed the Little Fat Fairy her handbag, quickly and gracefully hopped over the very high, wobbly gate, and disappeared around the corner.

A couple of minutes later, the Princess appeared, her clothes still clean and tidy, and she walked without the need-a-wee-wiggle.

"That's better," said the Princess, climbing back over the gate. "Thank you for holding my bag."

The Little Fat Fairy smiled, and then looked at the very high, wobbly gate.

"Oh dear," she said.

"What's wrong?" asked the Princess.

"Well, the gate is very high and wobbly," said the Little Fat Fairy, "and my legs are very short. And what if I break the gate with my weight?"

"Don't be silly," sniffed the Princess. "Prince Handsome Hat climbs over this gate all the time, and he hasn't broken it."

"I bet I weigh more than Prince Handsome Hat," said the Little Fat Fairy gloomily. "Oh, but I do need a wee!" She handed her rainbow umbrella to the Princess, put her fat little hands on the very high, wobbly gate, and managed to slowly haul herself up onto it.

"Oh dear," said the Little Fat Fairy. She was stuck!

The Little Fat Fairy and the Princess looked at the Little Fat Fairy's legs. They weren't long enough to swing over the top of the very high, wobbly gate, and reach the other side of the wooden slats to climb down! And even worse, the ground on the other side of the very high, wobbly gate was much lower down than the ground on the side the Little Fat Fairy had first climbed up on. Her fat little legs were simply far too short to reach.

The Little Fat Fairy sighed.

"It's no good," she said, "I've got to wee."

And so, the Princess held tightly onto the gate, and the Little Fat Fairy wobbled and wiggled her way over the top, and fell down the other side.

"Ouch!" she huffed. "At least I didn't get stung by the nettles. Now, where do I go to wee?"

"Just around the corner," replied the Princess. "That's where I went."

The Little Fat Fairy explored around the corner.

"Oh my goodness!" she exclaimed. "I can see the busy highway from here! People will see me doing my business, and that's certainly not something I want to share in public!"

"Just tuck yourself into the hedge like I did," shouted the Princess. "Nobody will see you there."

The Little Fat Fairy stared at the hedge dubiously. She walked a little nearer. The only place she could see that she could hide in to wee was full of nettles, and if she went there, she would get stung. She couldn't blame the nettles for stinging her if she weed next to them, but still, it wasn't a very nice thought.

"It's alright for you, Princess," yelled the Little Fat Fairy grumpily. "You only have a little bottom, so you'd fit in the gap, but I have a big bottom that won't fit, and I don't want the nettles stinging me!"

She trudged back round the corner, and went around the other corner. She could still see the busy highway a bit, but there were no nettles, and she had her rainbow umbrella. She opened up her umbrella, hid behind it, and did that thing you do when you really need to go.

A couple of minutes later, the Little Fat Fairy appeared back at the very high, wobbly gate. Her clothes were rumpled, her hair was a mess, and she was rubbing her bottom.

"What happened to you?" asked the Princess.

"There weren't any nettles," replied the Little Fat Fairy ruefully. "There was a massive thistle, though, and it stung me right on the bum just as I tried to stop my rainbow umbrella flying away."

The Princess tried her hardest not to laugh, but she wasn't very good at it, and she couldn't hide it.

"Humph," said the Little Fat Fairy. Then she looked at the very high, wobbly gate.

"Humph," said the Little Fat Fairy. The slats in the very high, wobbly gate were far too high for her fat little legs to reach properly, and she was far too round and fat to pull herself up properly.

She did try, it must be said. She tried very hard. She was very worried that she would break the very high, wobbly gate. She didn't, but she also didn't make it over the top.

"Why don't we walk a bit, with you on that side, and me on this side?" suggested the Princess. "There will probably be a way out down there."

"No," said the Little Fat Fairy. "I got in here, and I'm going to get out again."

She studied the very high, wobbly gate, and suddenly saw, hiding underneath the brambles, a hole that she thought she might be able to fit through, if only she could navigate her way through the nettles and blackberry thorns.

"You'll never get through there," said the Princess, warily. "Even I wouldn't try it."

"Well, I can't climb over the top, and I'm not walking through random fields on my own. I might meet a bull or anything!"

And so, the Little Fat Fairy used her rainbow umbrella and tried to beat the nettles and brambles back as she knelt down, and then crawled through the little gap in the gate.

"Ow! Oooo! Ouch!" she cried, scrambling through and standing up. "Stupidy stupid nettles! They stung my leg and my arm. Humph."

"At least they didn't sting your bottom," grinned the Princess.

"No, but the stupidy stupid thistle did," groaned the Little Fat Fairy, rubbing all her painful bits as she began walking towards home.

The Princess of Black Onyx Tower and the Little Fat Fairy walked in silence for a while.

All of a sudden, the Princess giggled.

"What's so funny?" asked the Little Fat Fairy.

"I was just thinking," said the Princess. "That place where we went to wee was called 'Thistle Down', because it's a hillside going down into the bottom of the valley. But it's also the place where a thistle stung you on your bum. So from now on, I'm going to call it 'Thistle Bottom'."

The Little Fat Fairy sighed, but she also smiled, and agreed that 'Thistle Bottom' was, indeed, a good name.

And the moral of this story is, go to the toilet before you go for a walk, or you just might end up being the butt of other peoples' jokes.

This story only available on Stories Space. If you are reading it elsewhere, it has been stolen.