Nobody ever loved me more than I loved myself when I was still addicted to Adderall. Even now I hesitate to say the word “addiction” – part of me, I think, still believes I can control it. That I’m not just another statistic. One-third of college students will try study drugs, but it was so much more than an easy A for me. It was a lifestyle. I don’t remember how I got into it, the same way I don’t remember how I started...

Sometimes I want to warn people that I am a ticking time bomb, a lit fuse, and dynamite in motion. I want to tell them not to get too close to me because I will hurt them, not before I hurt myself, but I will hurt them. I want to tell them I’m sorry, in advance, for the pain of being my friend. For the paranoia they will have to endure, for the sleepless nights where I won’t stop texting, when my demons take over and I ac...

55. The age of post-midlife crises and doctor visits. Backs cracking, heels tapping, salsa lessons with two left feet. Getting out of bed is a little harder, you slumber a little deeper. So many pills you can’t even count them. The age of watching children go into the world with your blessing. Raising little ones from tiny tots to full-fledged lawyers in grey suits. Favorite Chanel lipstick discontinued. Your baseball tea...