Davina was her name and she pleaded that I should not write this, that I should not expose her to the world. Apologies, sweet Davey, whose standard would I bear if your starlit eyes had not so pleaded. Those days are gone. 1. THE WALL AND THE PEOPLE See wee Hugh, way up there, high in the sky, splashing on paint like there was a world glut - a paint lake? A paint mountain? There’s a heap of red, because he’s on her hair n...

The annals of fiction are full of master criminals and evil geniuses. From Sherlock Holmes’ Professor Moriarty to James Bond’s Doctor No, to Superman’s Lex Luthor, each dashing hero must have a worthy nemesis to prove his credentials. Yet, for the budding ne’er-do-well mastermind there is little guidance on how to proceed with such a career. After one tires of robbing post offices and breaking into supermarkets the ambiti...

A new fad is sweeping England , and it comes about as the institution of marriage falls in popularity. Because fewer couples are opting to get wed it consequently means that there are fewer opportunities to indulge in wife swapping and this is proved by the membership numbers of the UK ’s Confederation of Wife Swapping Societies which have fallen by 52% since 1984. With this healthy pursuit about to disappear from the soc...

Taint easy being a village idiot, specially if one’s not as foolish as one hopes others think you are. It’s a constant battle of wits, really. Me trying to convince them others that I really am as stupid as they think I am. One slip could betray me, one shred of common sense could be my undoing. So, how is it, you may ask, that a fellow like myself, who can read and write and even count past 100, comes to be the official...