Wanna hear a dirty joke? Little Johnny fell in a mud puddle....
A duck goes into a bar, takes a stool, and the bartender says; What will you have little ducky?
The duck says; got any grapes? Bartender says; No duck, this is a bar, we serve beer, mixed drinks, that sorta thing. We don't have grapes. So the duck leaves.
Next day the duck comes back and the bartender says; What will it be duck? Got any grapes? Says the duck.
The bartender screams No duck head, I told you yesterday; we have no grapes, we sell beer and stuff.
If you come in here tomorrow asking for grapes, I'm gonna nail your little webbed feet to the floor.
The next day the duck sits and the bartender ask him; What will you have Daffy?
The duck ask: got any nails? The bartender near blows a gasket and yells "No"
So the duck says: got any grapes?
William Sheakspear walks into a bar.
The landlord shouts,
"get out, yer barred".
(barred/bard)
A man walks into a bar, what does he say? OWWW!!!