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Goes into a bar

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Mangos into a bar.

(Gotta be a joke so un-funny that it's funny )
When people ask the question is the cup half full or half empty I reply, "If I turn on the tap I can make it full."
Wanna hear a dirty joke? Little Johnny fell in a mud puddle....


What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
Breathe, dammit! BREATHE!
A duck goes into a bar, takes a stool, and the bartender says; What will you have little ducky?
The duck says; got any grapes? Bartender says; No duck, this is a bar, we serve beer, mixed drinks, that sorta thing. We don't have grapes. So the duck leaves.

Next day the duck comes back and the bartender says; What will it be duck? Got any grapes? Says the duck.
The bartender screams No duck head, I told you yesterday; we have no grapes, we sell beer and stuff.
If you come in here tomorrow asking for grapes, I'm gonna nail your little webbed feet to the floor.

The next day the duck sits and the bartender ask him; What will you have Daffy?
The duck ask: got any nails? The bartender near blows a gasket and yells "No"
So the duck says: got any grapes?
William Sheakspear walks into a bar.

The landlord shouts,
"get out, yer barred".

(barred/bard)
"Goes into a bar" jokes for grammar geeks.

1. A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

2. A dangling modifier walks into a bar. After finishing a drink, the bartender asks it to leave.

3. A question mark walks into a bar?

4. Two quotation marks “walk into” a bar.

5. A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, planning to drink.

6. The bar was walked into by the passive voice.

7. Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They drink. They leave.
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Quote by magnificent1rascal
"Goes into a bar" jokes for grammar geeks.

1. A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

2. A dangling modifier walks into a bar. After finishing a drink, the bartender asks it to leave.

3. A question mark walks into a bar?

4. Two quotation marks “walk into” a bar.

5. A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, planning to drink.

6. The bar was walked into by the passive voice.

7. Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They drink. They leave.




A period walks into a bar and all conversation comes to a full stop.



A full stop walks into a bar and a man tries to pick her up. She tells him: "I'm not into men - period."



A period walks into a bar and requests a glass of wine from the bartender. As he begins to pour the wine into a large glass he asks her how much she wants. She answers: "When it's full, stop."



A full stop walks into a bar and an exclamation point says "Wow! I'll bet you come here often!" She replies: "Periodically."