When darkness comes and shades my sight,

My life is best viewed in dimmest light;

I set the bar at its lowest height,

And could never climb over try as I might.

When young at heart and mind and soul,

Desires met daily was my only goal;

Never caring the costs I just paid the toll,

My bank always empty so from others I stole.

In callous mocking alone I would stand,

An island of me surrounded by sand;

Keep me safe from love and pain was the plan,

I couldn’t afford to be a careless man.

Immune I stayed as others fell,

It was always their problem as far as I could tell;

Aloof and uncaring I tried to sell,

Little did I know it was my own private hell.

While others loved and cried in pain,

I thought “Who wants that? What’s there to gain?”

I searched for the answers but all in vain,

Pristine was my life while theirs was stained.

But then I looked again and imagine my surprise,

Those stains were a wondrous collage before my eyes;

Each overlapping in shape and size,

Each a chapter in a diary of their lives.

Turning each page reveals the truth of who we are,

All the loves and pains we have survived so far;

With nothing to hide we leave the door ajar,

We are who we are with all of our stains and scars.

In the dark adrift alone at sea,

Sails are full and the wind behind me;

With the horizon ahead comes a clear epiphany,

It is up to me to live my own diary.