Quote by Baronvonmonty
Other edit: Apparently there is more than black, (and each gender option has its own color associated including puke-yellow for non-binary?) The part in parenthesis is wrong, that's just on certain mobile devices... and the non man, woman, cis ones are black or puke yellow. Doesn't negate what I said above and in other posts. Color and gender really shouldn't be so intertwined. Leaving all the choices to the users is the best option, in my opinion.
The vast majority of users want an easy way to see if they are speaking to a man or a woman etc. I can't tell you just how many complaints we get from people saying they are only interested in being contacted by women, or men etc, this is a simple way before them wasting a click on a profile to know if it's a man or a woman. So for any kind of filters or searches to work for this majority of people we need to establish sex. Also we have had issues in the past with people believing they have been chatting to (or meeting people) of a certain sex that have been disingenuous with their online profiles. Pick your own colour would not work unless it was accepted by all genderless people and users across the site otherwise they would not know what it was for. Personally I don't care if people want to identify as an Alien, Toaster, or a Werewolf, as long as they are happy. But right now we don't have anything on the site that will allow one Toaster to search for another. Im not saying that in the future we won't incorporate a special feature set for those who identify as Toasters or Werewolf's etc to find each other, but until then it's a case of using the options available. There are already so many options on here for sex and gender that "99.9%" of people will be able to express themselves with no problem at all. And for everything else I would suggest personalising your profile and profile text.
Like I said, I understand this is a very low-priority item on the to-do list. I also understand changing these things are probably harder and more time-consuming than they look from a coding perspective. However, some of the responses have come off as more than a little blasé as to why this can be such an impassioned issue.
I don't see why it's necessary to search for users based on gender. It feels like it is missing the point. Although the dropdown box is a good first step that was started on the other site only after discussion, you have no idea how validating and how safe and encouraging it would look for it to all be fill-in-the-blank and not be something one needs to choose to join. And if people want to put in something silly like 'toaster', then so be it. Humor is a great coping mechanism, and I'm a strong advocate for people getting creative with how they choose to label themselves.
When I first joined the other site (before I figured out how to stop chat requests from non-friends), I got spammed with requests from users because my profile said 'female'. If this is the same majority wanting an easy way to know, they can put in a little more effort to get to know who they are talking to and accept that gender isn't part of the other user's personality. They can go read the user's profile and if there is no gender, then it isn't their business to pry.
Blocking people based on gender is something that could be avoided if users could fill in the blank. I think many self-identified cis women would also appreciate being able to not state their gender or have it hardcoded in pink due to the above. I'm sure many cis women also don't want to go out of their way to identify as non-binary, agender, bigender, gender fluid, gender questioning, two spirit, or transgender person(I'm sorry, trans woman, trans man, trans femme, and trans masc aren't even an option here?). There are so many gender identities I don't see on that list, and as individual's understanding of gender and sexuality (as I assume that will be on the other site as well) are always changing, having a set-up that allows that change and exploration would be greatly appreciated.
Intersex people are completely left out of this as well, which is disconcerting.
I found a link if you wanted to read more about gender identity, sex, and gender presentation.
https://genderspectrum.org/articles/understanding-gender
Using 'toaster' and 'werewolf' as an argument parallels a bit too much with the 'I identify as an attack helicopter' argument online that is often used to invalidate trans and non-binary folk.
Both sites should be a safe space for the majority straight cis users and queer users (cis or otherwise) in equal measures.
Just because those who may want to use this feature might not be in the majority, doesn't mean there's no reason to eventually take these steps to make the sites more inclusive. Actually, it would look good for the sites to get with the times and not only cater to the current majority straight cis-male demographic. It's not like these changes will impair the majority's experiences or features of the sites.
Yes, I'm absolutely pleased Stories Space has been saved and grateful for all the hard work. I won't lie, most of these concerns are for the other site which I pay for, and I like to think I'm supporting a site that is open, inclusive, and working towards bettering itself.
I'm less of a fan of having to choose one from a set in a drop-down box for all the reasons stated in previous posts.
In the future, those users who complain about not being able to tell the gender of who they are talking to (as if everyone is honest about this) can respectfully look at how people choose to identify on their profile if that's something they choose to share. Maybe it will encourage more users to read profiles before spamming them with creepy chat and friend requests.
On that note, photo validation is not a good way to tell gender either. And it won't stop catfishers.
I'll continue to emphasize the importance of this being something users choose to fill in to their own liking.
It is a writing site, not a dating site as Maggie has said. Unless you all want to date me at once. Although, my time slots for dinner and wine are a little full at the moment, custard creams are guaranteed to be served for dessert. ;)
As for the other site, it's also a story site first. Stories are the backbone, and I'd hate for this to discourage new writers with new perspectives.
Anna, I know it may seem extreme some of us get so angry over this, but I've tried to be patient, quiet, and polite for months. Posting then waiting then posting then waiting. I never got a response from a higher up (I'm not talking about mods). Then when I do finally get a response, well, it was only after being more blatant about my true feelings on the matter and being 'Loud' seems to have been the only way to elicit anything.
I hope this eventually changes.
