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Perks of Aging

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Here are some perks of reaching 60 or being over 70 and heading towards 80 and Beyond.

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
3. No one expects you to run--anywhere.
4. People call at 8 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?"
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
7. Things you buy now won't wear out.
8. You can eat supper at 5 PM.
9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.
10. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
12. No one cares how you dress
13. Groaning is a language
14. No one questions you when you use the "I forgot" card.
15. You can claim you are on Social Security when someone asks you for money.
16. Your electric mattress pad is your best friend on cold nights.
17. Learning new things means you have to forget five others to make room.
18. Shaving is nor longer a daily requirement.
19. You can get your weekly cardio workout by walking into a spider web.
"Them ain't no militia, that's the Army of the Potomac!"
20. You can nod and smile saying, “yes dear” to everything with a twinkle, even if you haven’t heard a word. (Disclaimer: Borderline 95% success rate, not to be confused with sarcasm.)
22. You can ask a nice lady (or gentleman, depending on your gender and predilection) to massage your aching knees without embarrassment.
23. You no longer need to bother with socks since you can’t bend down to put them on anyway.
24. You can fall asleep in front of the television and no longer have to claim you were just resting your eyes.
For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires. Hebrews 4:12
25. You paid off your mortgage just in time to pay the new property tax on your home.
26. You can still beat your children at card games but they are learning how to distract you.
27. Absolutely no one asks you to go ice skating for fear you will fall and hurt yourself. You can stay in where it's warm.
You can't get there from here, because when you get there you're still here and here is now there.