Q: What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?
A: One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
A: Your Honor.
Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50
A: Senator.
Q: What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?
A: Not enough cement.
Q: What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?
A: Skeet.
In Zombie world; A zombie mother went to the brain store to get some brains for her zombie daughter's sweet sixteen birthday party. There were many types of brains for sale from normal people's brains at $5/pound up to scientist's brains at $45/pound. There was also a sign that read 'See sales zombie for gourmet brains or special orders.' The zombie mother wanted only the best for her lovely zombie daughter's big day, so she shuffled towards a nearby sales zombie.
When the zombie mother approached the sales zombie, the sales zombie said, "Welcome to Brains-Mart, How may I help you ma'am?"
The zombie mother explained the situation and asked, "What is the most expensive brains you sale?"
The sales zombie replied, "We did get a shipment of twenty pounds of movie stars brains for $425/pound, but the best of the best is lawyer brains."
The zombie mother asked, "How much are they?"
The sales zombie said, "$2000/pound and we only have three pounds."
"Oh gosh, why so expensive?"
"Ma'am do you have any idea how many lawyers it takes to get just one pound of brains?"
You can't get there from here, because when you get there you're still here and here is now there. why won't a shark eat a lawyer?
professional courtesy.
Betty and Tim die in a car accident on the eve of their wedding. In Heaven, they ask St. Peter if they can still be married.
"Well, let me find out if this is possible. Stay here and I will be right back."
Six months pass and Peter returns. "Yes, we can do this for you."
The couple asks, "Well, as we have spent so much time together waiting for your answer, we need to know that if things don't work out, is there a possibility that we can be divorced?"
To which St. Peter answers, "It took me six months to find a priest up here -- how long do you think it will take me to find a lawyer?"
For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires. Hebrews 4:12
When do you know a lawyer is telling the truth?
When his lips are shut.
For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires. Hebrews 4:12
A grade school teacher asks her students what their parents do for a living.
Billy proudly stands up and announces, "My daddy plays piano in a whorehouse."
The teacher is aghast and promptly changes the subject. Later that day, she calls Billy's mother and explains what Billy said.
Billy's mother says, "Actually, his father's an attorney, but how can we explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?"
For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires. Hebrews 4:12
