An old station hand named Billy was overseeing his herd in a remote pasture in the outback west of Broken Hill,when suddenly a brand-new B.M.W ATV advanced toward him out of a great cloud of dust.
The driver, a young bloke in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan® sunglasses and YSL® tie, leaned out the window and asked the old man,
"Hey there my man! If I can tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd of yours, will you give me a calf?"
Billy looks at the young man, who obviously is a Green yuppie of some sort?, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Yeh mate, Sure, why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell® notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3® cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
The yuppie then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop® and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany .....
Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot® that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL® database through an ODBC connected Excel® spread sheet with email on his Blackberry® and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-colour, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet® printer, turns to Billy and says,
"You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
"Holy Shit! That's right. Well, you'll be helpin yourself to one of me calves, then, since you won it fair en square." says Billy.
He watches the smartly dressed yuppie select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the man gingerly picks it up & stuffs it into the boot of his 4WD.
As the yuppie is carefully brushing the dust & hair off his suit, Billy says,
"Hey Mate before ya go, if I can tell you exactly what work you do & where you come from, will you give me back my calf?"
The yuppie thinks about it for a second, wondering what this wrinkled up dirt encrusted uneducated old man could possibly know about anything?
He grins and then says,
"Okay, old fella, why not? I'm a believer in fair play."
"Well! You're a Politician & you work in Canberra."
says the old timer.
"Wow! That's correct,"
says the yuppie,
"but, tell me how on earth did you guess that?"
"No guessing required."
answered Billy
"You showed up here, uninvited, even though nobody bloody called ya! you want to get paid for a friggin answer I already knew, to a question I never asked.
You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are;
and you don't know a thing about how working people make a friggin living -
Or about cows, for that matter.
Ya Dopey Bastard,This here is a mob of sheep.
Now give me back my
Friggin Dog."
Yesterday at 1:20 AM ·
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It happened at a church summer camp so it must be true, right? ;)
OF WAR, AND PEACE, AND MARY BETH: my contest winner, honest
For Whom the Good Tolls an 'RR' and it's short, no kidding[/url]
OF WAR, AND PEACE, AND MARY BETH: my contest winner, honest
For Whom the Good Tolls an 'RR' and it's short, no kidding[/url]
