"Because of you I try my hardest just to forget everything, Because of you I don't know how to let anyone else in, Because of you I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty, Because of you..."
She opens her new closet door and runs right into herself. The owners before them must have forgotten the mirror. Her eyes are distant and sad, her movements both curious and anxious. She bites her lip, the stops because she looks stupid.
Or, in all actuality, that was what Sofia-Anielka said. Anielka told her whenever she shouldn't do something because it was stupid or people would laugh and make fun of her. If Anielka told her not to speak, she would zip her lips shut and not utter a single sound. Anielka played videos inside her head of possible outcomes if she didn't listen to her whispered orders. If Sofia-Anielka popped out of her hiding place in the squishy room, Llywellya clammed right up.
Usually after a visit from Anielka, Llywellya would find herself in the company of Sion. Sion just made her tired; too tired to do anything but lie in bed. Sometimes Sion would help her get rid of Anielka, but usually if Sion showed up Anielka would leave of her own volition--afraid of confrontation. Sometimes Sion would arrive angry at Llywellya for her weakness and irrational fear. Sion would make her feel like her fear and tears were to be hidden and he'd give her suggestion on how to hide them... or what to do if she was unable to do so. Now matter how bad Sion beat her down, she did what he asked. She hid her tears until night when she lays her head down to sleep...
Sion takes over now and she cuts ink into the paper like he commands her to cut the knife into herself--punishment, he says, for her weakness.
Anielka pokes her head out and the pen whispers over the paper, light as the feathery feel of Anielka's breath in Llywellya's ear.
Llywellya screams, hands clamped over her ears, but she still hears them.
"They are in your mind."
"They are not real."
But they are as real as Llywellya and you.
"...I am afraid."
She opens her new closet door and runs right into herself. The owners before them must have forgotten the mirror. Her eyes are distant and sad, her movements both curious and anxious. She bites her lip, the stops because she looks stupid.
Or, in all actuality, that was what Sofia-Anielka said. Anielka told her whenever she shouldn't do something because it was stupid or people would laugh and make fun of her. If Anielka told her not to speak, she would zip her lips shut and not utter a single sound. Anielka played videos inside her head of possible outcomes if she didn't listen to her whispered orders. If Sofia-Anielka popped out of her hiding place in the squishy room, Llywellya clammed right up.
Usually after a visit from Anielka, Llywellya would find herself in the company of Sion. Sion just made her tired; too tired to do anything but lie in bed. Sometimes Sion would help her get rid of Anielka, but usually if Sion showed up Anielka would leave of her own volition--afraid of confrontation. Sometimes Sion would arrive angry at Llywellya for her weakness and irrational fear. Sion would make her feel like her fear and tears were to be hidden and he'd give her suggestion on how to hide them... or what to do if she was unable to do so. Now matter how bad Sion beat her down, she did what he asked. She hid her tears until night when she lays her head down to sleep...
Sion takes over now and she cuts ink into the paper like he commands her to cut the knife into herself--punishment, he says, for her weakness.
Anielka pokes her head out and the pen whispers over the paper, light as the feathery feel of Anielka's breath in Llywellya's ear.
Llywellya screams, hands clamped over her ears, but she still hears them.
"They are in your mind."
"They are not real."
But they are as real as Llywellya and you.
"...I am afraid."